Beautiful Disaster
by MrsJasperHale
Summary: AU. All Human.His green eyes focused on me and a soft giggle escaped his lips. I was so focused on him that I almost forgot that I was standing in the middle of the living room in my underwear EXB
1. Halfnaked girl

**Beautiful Disaster**

_A/N: So first Twilight __fic__. I'm really excited and I hope you like it. Well just so you know English is not my native language so I may have some mistakes but I like to think I'm pretty good at it so I hope you can enjoy my story. Well this story has all the canon pairings, __RosaliexEmmet__ JasperxAlice__ CarlisexEsme__ & __EdwardxBella__. But they're __related__ differently. Alice's Edward's sister, Rosalie is Bella's cousin & Emmet and Jasper are brothers, __Carlise__ and __Esme__ are Edward's and Alice's parents. Well I hope you can get that any questions you have you can PM me or leave it in the review. Hope you like and if you do review to let me know I should continue!_

**Summary:** AU. All Human. Charlie and Reene decided it was better for Bella to move to Forks after a serial killer attacks Phoenix. Bella moves with her independent cousin Rosalie Hale and as soon as she arrives she becomes the target of Forks High womanizer Edward Cullen. She's warned by several people but after a while she starts seeing the real Edward and she falls for him. What happens next?

**BPOV **

_I hate this town. When I say I hate it I mean I really __really__ really__ REALLY__ hate it. The only reason that I'm moving here, besides the fact that I still have to do what my parents tell me to, it's because my beloved cousin and best friend Rosalie lives here. __By herself.__ Her parents and mine are like oil and water, so are __we.__ Rosalie is a stunning, blond with beautiful blue eyes and a body that deserves to be worshipped. She's heartbreaking beautiful and you want to know the worst part? She knows she is. So she's kind of annoying sometimes but I still love her, not only because I have to but because she's my best friend. Well as I was saying we're like oil and water, I'm petite, brunette and plain, or at least I think so, she keeps on saying that I'm stunning and that I'm really beautiful and that I can't see myself clearly. __Yeah, sure.__ Anyway so now I'm leaving with her in this little, green foggy-almost-alien town. __Forks. I wonder who names a town after a...fork. Guess I'm about to find out.  
_

I was dragged out my little personal world when the cab stopped. I got out and immediately my eyes found my cousin sitting on the porch, she was with a guy, who was really handsome and really big. He looked more like a grizzly bear than a teenager. Rosalie got up and ran to hold me, as soon as she spotted my clumsy self getting off the cab. She seemed overly-excited that I was here, probably because of that fight she had had with her best friend or something.

"Bella!" she shouted as she approached me and held me "You look great Bells, I love your hair." she smiled at me and I felt like my self-esteem dropped to minus ten, I took a deep breath and let it go, that was usually how I felt around her.

"Emmett get over here and help me with the bags." I guessed she was talking to the big guy " Bells he's so awesome! I want you to meet him. I like him so much." she whispered almost squealing, I smile at her excitement I had never seen her so happy over a guy.

"Hey you must be Bella.." the guy said in a thick voice and he smiled at me "Rosalie has done nothing but talk about you for the last week, I'm really glad to finally meet you." he had a big cheesy green plastered on his face and I couldn't help to notice the dimples, they made her look so innocent.

"Nice to meet you too." I answered in kind of scared tone, Kay so who can blame me? The guy is twice my size, the innocence could be fake as far as I was concerned. "Rosalie...hadn't say anything about you actually..." he laughed loudly and Rosalie kicked me.

"So Bells let's go inside, Emmett will take care of your bags, right baby?" she asked seductively, looking into his eyes, I could see him melting under her gaze.

Emmett nodded and Rosalie grabbed my hand and lead me into the house, it wasn't anything special, just a regular house with two bedrooms a kitchen and a bathroom. God why had I agree to move here? This place was so...country-like. I belonged in the city, with my parents and the heat and the overpopulated streets not in this place full of...nature. I sighed in frustration and Rosalie looked at me smiling.

"Uncle Charlie said you weren't very pleased with the idea of living in Forks." I grimaced

"Uncle Charlie was being nice.." I grunted. My father would never said how unappeased I was with the idea of living in Forks, let alone express it with the same words I had used to say it.

Emmett who had somehow appeared next to my beautiful cousin burst into a roar of laughter and Rosalie smiled looking at him lovingly. I looked away, I felt like I was in presence of a married couple, they probably almost lived together and now that I was here they would have to be apart...for a lot of time. I sighed

"You'll get used to this town Bella, it's not that bad." he smiled as I looked around and notice that he had left my bags behind the couch I smiled at him.

"Thank you for um... bringing the bags in." Still scared, _God Bella get over it already. _

"No problem.." he smiled and suddenly a loud horn interrupted our not-so-but-totally-awkward-moment we were having "Oh that must be Jasper, I have to leave Rose you know how moody he gets if he has to wait for me more than an actual minute." The horn came againg this time with a shout.

"Kay see ya later Emme.." Rosalie's 'casual' goodbye was cut out by Emmett's lips pressing his lips against hers, after he pulled away almost as quickly he started walking out.

"See ya Rose." he said as he ran through the front door and left Rosalie there stunned, was she shaking?

" Oh My God Bella I like him so much!" she giggled "He's perfect for me."

"You mean he adores and worship you and when he's not doing that it's because he's staring at you." Rosalie rolled her eyes and punched me on the arm "Ouch!"

"Pretty much, yeah." she smiled "But seriously Bella I really REALLY like him, he's cute and hot and funny and sensitive..." she sighed and continued on naming the amazing qualities her boyfriend seemed to behold.

"Okay before we go over how awesome is Emmett, can you please show me my room?" I pleaded desperate to get out of the conversation that would only led to how lonely my romantic-life really was.

"Uh sure." she nodded as she pointed one door at the end of the hall, she started walking towards it and finally opened the thick wood door.

And there it was, my annoyingly small room. At least the window was near the ground so I could jump and run away in the middle of the night. yay for me. There was a small bed and a closet and an empty desk. I entered the room slowly, expecting for my parents to jump in and tell me that it was all a joke and that I was going back to my beloved big city. Where things were the color they were supposed to..not just..green. I looked up and saw Rosalie smiling, she was really excited about finally living with someone, my aunt had told me, so I tried to smile as honestly as I could. After all my cousin was doing so much for me I had to at least do something for her.

"Do you like it? Because I can totally give you my room if you want to..huh?" she grinned at me as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"No it's okay..it's perfect Rose." my voice seemed forced but I couldn't help that, to make it up to her I smiled as wide as I could.

"Oh that's great, because I wasn't going to give you my room anyway." I laughed, that was so typical-Rosalie-ish "I'm going to go to the supermarket and buy something for dinner, do you want to come to, I don't know, get to know some people around here before your first day of school?"

"No, I think I'll just stay and..take a shower. If you don't mind going alone.." I trailed off, the less I knew about this town the better for me.

"Not at all, I'll be back in an hour." she smiled at me and walked out of my room "Be careful." she warned me and I heard the front door shutting

Yeah, like anything could ever happen to me in this town, the most dangerous thing around must be a bear and I'll be lucky if it killed me. How could Rosalie the uptown girl, moved down here and be so happy about it?. I sighed in frustration for the millionth-time on this day and I entered the bathroom. Only after I had taken off my jeans and my t-shirt I realized I didn't have any clothes to change to. I opened the bathroom door and I my bags near the couch. I could go out in my underwear I mean who would see me? The grizzly bear that was supposed to kill me? No I wasn't that lucky . Rosalie? Oh well, if she saw me, she'll get over it, sooner or later. Preferably sooner. Or she would tease me about it forever. I walked out of the bathroom and started going through my clothes that were across the room.

"Rosalie!"A man voice shouted. I froze.

What the hell? Was that Emmett again? Oh my God this was going to be so embarrassing. Rosalie was going to kill me now. Her boyfriend seeing me in my underwear, no that I had a body that was worth of her jealousy. But why had he let himself in, without knocking? What if Rosalie had been in underwear? Ugh. He was her boyfriend. Right. So maybe if I ran to the bathroom he wouldn't see me. Just catch a glimpse of me. Or I could fall. Yes I would probably fall if I ran and it would be a lot more embarrassing. I would probably bleed, and pass out. That would be even more embarrassing, passing out while I was only wearing underwear. 'Kay so I was lost my cousin's boyfriend was going to see me in my underwear. This couldn't get worst.

I turned around slowly and found that God himself was staring at me. Okay he wasn't God, but he was pretty damn close.

Was this guy real? He was so gorgeous. His green eyes focused on me and a soft giggle escaped his lips. He was wearing a shirt that brought up his eyes and jeans, that well..brought up other parts of his...anatomy. He was beautiful. I almost reached out to touch him to see if he was real but luckily I didn't. I was so focused in him that I almost forgot that I was standing in the middle of the living room in my underwear. And everything turned even more embarrassing because I didn't even know this guy and I was standing in my underwear in front of him, he was beautiful and he was laughing at me and I was probably blushing like a crazy girl.

"Excuse me…" he said with a playful smile as he took a good look of my almost naked body"Is Rosalie here?"

"Well does it look like she's here?" I answered and my tone sound more like angry than ironic, but I couldn't fix my voice now I was too nervous trying to get out of this completely embarrassing situation.

"No. Sorry I was just..I live over here..next door.." he laughed a little more but this time he tried to hide it behind a cough "Who are you?"

"I'm Bella..and I would appreciate if you stop laughing, thanks." I ran my fingers through my hair and bit my lip.

"Bella, right..I'm..."

"Edward Cullen.." Rosalie's voice interrupted the most embarrassing moment of my life, she looked back and forth between him and I and finally spoke again "It's her first day here and you already managed to get her off of her clothes..I'm impressed."

"Oh Rose..your sense of humor survived the holidays..and Emmett." he cleared his throat as he rolled his eyes. _Note to self: Ask what's the story between those two _"No I didn't get her off of her clothes.." He glanced at me "But I would be proud if I could." and there it was. The smirk.

"Okay, playboy..go outside and wait for me and stay away from my cousin." she glared at him as she dropped some bags on the floor and pointed the front door.

"Okay.." he turned around and faced me..I blushed even more if possible "A pleasure ma'am." and he walked out the front door, laughing.

"Bella what the hell are you doing? A strip-show?" Rosalie slapped me in the arm hard and I couldn't help but to think that it would leave a mark.

"No I had forgotten my clothes and you didn't mention anything about the gorgeous guy that lives next door coming over. And ouch don't hit me" She arched her eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Okay grab your clothes and take a bath.." she turned around but then she went back on her steps "And Bella.."

"Yes, Rose?" I asked as I continued on looking through my clothing choices

"Stay away from Edward..he's..not good enough for you..he's not good for you." I twitched my lips. Not good enough for me? I was thinking he was just fine for me.

"I think I'm not good enough for him.." I smiled..but she didn't, obviously it wasn't the time to make jokes about my ugliness.

"Just stay away from him, 'kay?" she lifted the side of her mouth and I bit my lip nodding.

"Sure..whatever you say Rose.." she smiled and left. I grabbed my clothes and got into the bathroom, safe from any more embarrassment. 

_Finally_

_--_

_Two Days Later_

So I'm not saying that life with Rosalie is boring..I mean this gorgeous guys keep coming by and asking her to fix their trucks..and when Emmett's here he gets all jealous. Emmett it's funny and kind of a big brother, and you can tell he's totally in love with Rose, I mean who wouldn't be in love with her? But watching them make out while I watch a movie that was made before my mother was born is not in my list of favourite activities. So I decided to go to the supermarket..and spend a while choosing the food because Emmett and Rosalie may start doing..other things...if they noticed I left. I highly doubt they will. Anyway I started staring at the different types of cereals when suddenly I felt like someone was watching me. I turned around. And there he was in all his glory. Edward Cullen

Emmett and Rosalie said he was the biggest playboy in school and that he was a little resented because Rosalie had rejected him for Emmett. But Rose is rather...imaginative when she wants too. And Emmett always agrees with her, of course. His green eyes were staring at me again and he had that adorable playful smile in his lips. _Stop it Bella_. I reminded to myself, focus.

"Bella, right?" he asked. Did he noticed that his voice was husky and so..sexy? It sounded like velvet.

"Yes.." I nodded and immediately blushed. God I hate my body. Traitor.

"So...I wanted to introduce myself properly..before Rosalie and Emmett did it." He smirked

"Oh trust me..they already did." His smirk faded as I continued "Very well of course, you might imagine..."

"I'd rather not." he grimaced "Don't believe anything they said."

"I won't if you promise to forget the fact that you saw me naked."

"I saw you naked? I wish.." I rolled my eyes "I saw you half-naked."

"Well forget about that, and I'll forget about everything that Rosalie and Emmett said for the past few days."

"And everything they might say in the future.." he added hope tingling in his voice

"Oh no...I can't prevent that." I smiled teasingly at him and he laughed.

"Well I can't prevent if it ever slips through my memory that I saw you half-naked..." he muttered

"Okay!" I agreed angrily..God he was so..frustrating.

"Edward Cullen!" a pixie voice said as she approached us "Is he molesting you?"

"Um no.." I watched the little girl as she stared at Edward.

"And you're my own sister.." he said faking grief "Then you don't want people calling me a playboy."

"Oh shut up...Dad's outside he wants you in the car right now." she crossed her arms over her chest and smirked.

"OKay..leaving. Goodbye Bella." he said as he grabbed my hand and kissed it "It was a pleasure." and he turned around.

"You're Bella right?" she asked cheerfully, even if she was small she seemed to have a lot of energy in store. "Bella Swan? Rosalie's cousin?"

"It seems so." I said shrugging. So much for a box of cereal and getting out of that house.

"Oh yeah. I'm Alice, Alice Cullen. Edward's sister." she smiled at me again.

She was short and really small. She had short black hair and well she was really skinny, but pretty. Her big black eyes looked at me and a pixie smile was on her lips. She seemed...nice and friendly. And really nicely dressed. She looked stylish and so kind. God was every girl in this town prettier than me?

"So you're the girl that my brother found standing in her underwear in Rosalie's living room?" her tone changed.

Had he told his whole family? God. He had probably told all of his friends.

"Yeah about that.." I searched for something to say inside my head but there was nothing there.

"Don't worry Edward and I tell each other everything. We've got each others six."

"Oh.." Wasn't that something hunters used to say...?

"Anyway you must have really made an impression...I think he likes you…but you should listen to whatever your cousin says about him...even if I love my brother he's not the kind of guy I would date..or any sane girl would. And you seem nice...and sane."

Not the kind of guy any sane girl would date? Well you'd have to be out of your mind not to date him obviously. Probably Rosalie was insane and this girl well...it was his brother.

"Thanks for the advice.." I smiled "What about what Emmett's says? Should I believe him too?" I joked lightly.

"Emmett? Is Jasper coming by your house too?" her mouth twitched and her expression changed to a curious one

"Jasper? As Emmett's brother?" _As the blond guy they want to hook me up with? _

"Yes." she looked nervous now as she bit her lip.

"No...Why?" I arched my eyebrow at her question.

"No reason." she smiled again "Anyway I should go because Edward's going to realize in a few seconds that my dad didn't call him but I just sent him away because he was being a pain in the..."

"Alice!"

"Oh shoot, I'm in trouble…anyway I'll see you at school Bella. Nice to meet you!" she giggled and she left almost jumping and disappeared in the supermarket.

I sighed…what was I planning to buy before the Edward started staring at me? Oh right…cereals. Like I could focus after that.

I could still feel his warm lips in my hand and her sister's world twirling around my head. _Not good for you._

So if people were trying to prevent me of liking Edward Cullen. Well…they were kind of failing.

‏


	2. Focused

**Beautiful Disaster**

_A/N__: I'm so excited! I opened my e-mail today, and I got so many alerts fav. You guys are the best, I'm so glad you're liking what I write. The reviews were wonderful and they always encourage me to go on with my story. You guys rock. So hope you like this chapter! Reviews are love inspiration via __internet ;)_

**BPOV**

_Okay…today is our first day of school. Senior year, finally finishing high school. I need to wake up, we don't want to be late in our first day. I think Rosalie's shaking me, ugh I should open my eyes now, but this bed is so comfortable__. Maybe I should keep on sleeping. My dream was really good, was it about Edward? Yes he was there. But if I go to school I get to see Edward..actual-real-flesh and bone Edward..he's so beautiful. Edward…_

"Bella? What did you just said?" My cousin laughed really close to my ear and the sound echoed in my head. "Bella! Bella wake up."

"What? Who?" I jumped out of bed and landed on the floor I winced in pain as I realized I had hurt my butt a lot. "Ouch."

"You were mumbling something. I'd forgot that you talked while you're sleeping." Rosalie giggled…oh no no. Please make her forget again

"Well forget again, I don't want you listening to my…whatever I say." I was sure I must have said Edward's name. "Go away."

"Okay…get ready we have to go." She giggled and walked out of my room closing the door behind her. Was she always so graceful?

Ugh great, can the grizzle bear attack me already, please? I got up from the floor and picked the first thing I found and locked myself into the bathroom. Great so today I'll have to see, Edward who has see me in my underwear and his sister, who knows about it. Awesome. Also I will have to meet this Jasper guy that everyone wants to hook me up with. Well Emmett and Rosalie at least. I slipped into my jeans quickly and walked out of the bathroom._  
_

My very deep thoughts were interrupted by a loud honk and some shouting from Rose.

"Bella c'mon! Emmett and Jasper are here." she said, I didn't miss the tone she was using for Jasper's name.

"I'm coming!" I screamed back as I grabbed my bag and my coat "I'm coming..."

So as soon as I left the house I saw a big black truck waiting for us.

"Bella please sit in the passenger seat, Emmet and I want some morning-privacy." Rosalie warned me as she closed the front door.

I opened the truck's door and slammed it hard. The last thing I needed this early was another epic Emmett-Rosalie make out.

"Woah, be careful with the old man…" a voice warned me when I turned to see who it was, there was a really handsome blond-ish guy "I'm Jasper…by the way." he added and smiled gently.

"Bella." I bit my lip and looked away.

"Already knew that…" I rolled my eyes "But I'm glad you're here." he added chuckling at my reaction.

"Rosalie and Emmet were kind of driving you crazy?" I teased and I heard Rosalie snort. She was probably too busy to answer with actual words.

"Yeah…especially at lunch." he played along as he drove down the street

I giggled like a two year old at his comment "Making out?"

"No. Most of the time Rosalie talked about herself and Emmet stared at her and the rest of the time Emmet talked about her…kind of annoying." He smiled at me "Good to have a partner to talk something else than Rosalie's hair." I threw my head back as I laughed now, I was sure that wasn't true but God it was funny.

"Oh shut up Jasper.." Rosalie said as she leaned forward to check her hair in the mirror "We're already late, drive!"

"Okay…are you always PMS-ing?" he rolled his eyes and she slapped his arms "Ouch! Don't touch the driver Rose!"

"Only with you Jazz…" she smiled and kissed him in the cheek playfully

"They were expecting me to date you…" Jasper smiled as he looked at me, I rolled my inner-eyes boy I knew. Emmett laughed.

"Um…that's weird." Ladies and Gentleman that's not the kind of thing you say to someone who you've just met, you just don't.

"Yeah but he can't because he was a big crush on…" Emmett leaned forward and started talking

"EMMETT!"

"Sorry." he muttered and he leaned back again

"See Rosalie I don't get why you're so mad at Alice Cullen.." I interrupted the brotherly-love thingy that was going on "I talked to her the other day and she's really nice."_ In fact she thinks exactly the same you do about her brothe_r

"You what?" My cousin gave my a killer look, her blue eyes were sparkling with fury. I shivered.

"You answered? I thought you were attached by the mouth to Emmet." I teased again I felt Jasper shaking with silent laughter at my side.

"See I told you she was nice." Jasper finally spoke and Rosalie slapped him, harder this time.

"Shut up Jazz."

--

So when Jasper parked into into Forks High parking lot the last thing I expected him to do was to park besides a shiny silver Volvo, that happen to be the car of Edward Cullen who, and because God hates me, happened to be standing besides his car talking to her sister. Oh thank you Jasper, you're a great guy. I got out of the car and try to slowly walk without being noticed by him, the whole school was going to be looking at me anyway, because I was the new girl in a school of 400 students.But as always, my body who's the biggest traitor ever, made me trip over...I don't really know what. I closed my eyes for a minute and when I opened them Jasper was there.

"Did you get hurt?" he was holding me by the waist, trying to prevent my body from meeting the floor. "Bella? Are you hurt?"

"No..that's just me being clumsy." I answered as I straightened up

"Okay...we're already late so we should get going...do you want me to walk you to class?" He handed my bag to me and I smiled

"Um sure..I have biology."

"Oh I know where that is...this way."

So Jasper turned out to be a really cool guy, who was actually really shy, he told me that people at Forks were kind of scared of his family when they first moved here and that Rose was the first person who was actually nice to them. Why were people scared? Don't ask me, but I think Emmett and him are cool, I needed to think that to stop myself of thinking of certain green-eyed boy who by the way happened to have the only empty seat beside him in the biology class. So I said goodbye to Jasper and got into the class. Great now everyone was staring at me, I hate being late. _Please don't fall, please don't fall. _I reached the empty seat next to Edward Cullen successfully and sat down. I closed my eyes for a second to relax and when I open them, Edward Cullen was leaning towards me, his lips next to my ear.

"Hi there, underwear girl." he whispered, chuckling under his breath.

I was sure, for some stupid reason, that the whole class had heard that, I blushed furiously and in a sudden movement I almost fell of my chair. Of course Edward got me before I did. His arms wrapped around my waist brought on a different feeling than Jasper's.

"Whoa, be careful." he whispered more serious now

Be careful? He says something like that to me in a class full of people and expects me to be quiet and don't do anything? Ugh this guy is incredible.

"Get your hands off of me.." I whispered as the teacher entered the class.

"Good morning students." the teacher greeted . Some minutes passed but I couldn't erase his words from my ears, or the feeling of his warm breath in my ear. Oh god why did my thoughts sounded like The O.C? I was not in a soap, and I didn't like Edward Cullen. Right? Right? God please help me. Make me smart. Make me realize that I hate him. Relate him to me. I don't know, do anything!

"You promised you'd forget." the words came out of my mouth before I could think about it.

"Sorry, I couldn't help it." He smiled and looked at me with his 'I-didn't-do-it' face "Nobody knows...is our dirty little secret."

"Ugh." I sighed out in frustration.

"Didn't Rosalie tell you? I thought you'd have something to say." he said, his stupid grin plastered on his face.

"Tell me what?" I questioned, focusing on not looking at him, I would get really distracted if I did.

"My mom invited you and her over for dinner, tomorrow, Rosalie said yes." he announced triumphantly.

Okay I was not buying that, Rosalie was on current state of 'hating-Alice-because-she-called-me-whore" and she wouldn't accept to be in the same room as her if she wasn't forced too. And an invitation wasn't forcing. This guy was shitting me.

"I doubt that."

"Okay." he answered smugly.

No...she couldn't..? She wouldn't, right?

--

So I needed to find out if it was true that I was going to spend at least four hours of my life with the guy who was driving me crazy, I mean the guy who was pissing me off. ugh whatever. I spotted Rosalie and Emmet sitting in a table, Jasper wasn't there yet. I walked confidently towards them, as the whole student body stared at me, I'm not lying, and sat down.

"Bella!" Rose smiled "How was your class?"

"Good, I like biology, but I had to seat next to Edward Cullen, he said this stupid thing about us going over his house for dinner tomorrow..." she didn't say anything, her expression changed from happy to 'I-hate-you' and she glanced over the Cullen table angrily."...Rose?"

"I'm sorry." she pleaded as she covered her face with her hands.

"Rosalie! You hate Alice!" I exclaimed. I was surprised myself that she had accepted

"I know! But Esme asked me to, and she and Carlise have been like parents for me since I moved. She said Alice wanted a chance to apologize and that she wants to meet you." She looked at me using her best puppy-eyes and bit her bottom lip

"Well, I'm not going." I announced.

"Oh Bella you have to come! Carlise and Esme are so nice. You're gonna love them! Emmet say something!" Rosalie punched Emmet in the arm and he lifted his head. Was he sleeping? Poor guy.

"Oh yes Bella..go." he said and then with a loud thud his head fell in the same spot.

"I'm not going Rose." I stated weakly this time.

"You're going, even if I have to drag you out of the house, because you know I'm stronger than you." I was going to say something but as soon as I open my mouth she stopped me..."Ah ah ah..end of the discussion..you're going." and she got up and left a second later she came back "By the way, I'm going over to Emmet's after school so we'll drop you in the way if that's okay." And with that she left.

"God I had forgotten she was so stubborn." I was probably talking to myself because Emmett was still asleep. Jeez. I spotted Jasper walking towards the table as he watched a very angry Rosalie running out of the cafeteria.

"Hey.."He greeted as he sat down "Where's Rosalie? Did I miss something good?"

--

And here I was. I swear people DO NOT, have as much bad luck as I do. Not normal people at least, Rosalie, Emmet & Jasper had dropped me at the house two hours ago, and after they left I had locked myself out. I had said that I had a lot of homework and catching up to do, and Rosalie was staying over there for dinner, meaning I had to wait at least another two hours, great. This was terrific. Obviously there was someone up there that didn't love as much. All I could hope was that the grizzly would take his chance on me now.

"She has a spare key, you know?" A velvety voice muttered interrupting the silence of the dark.

I jumped in surprised and to be honest I was kind of freaked out. A dark figured came into the light. _Please don't kill me, please, please...GOD. _And there it was in all his glory Edward Cullen. Was this guy spying on me?

"What are you a freaking stalker?" I asked as I crossed my arms over my chest and flipped my hair back. He chuckled.

"No but I've lived next door for the last three years, we know where the spare key is just in case." He said every word like he was talking to a retarded

"In case?" I asked again as I tap my foot impatiently on the wood.

"Emergencies." He answered as he rolled his eyes and looked around the porch

"Oh." _How obvious Bella, could be more of an idiot?_

A minute passed

"So are you expecting to a grizzly bear to kill us, or are you gonna tell me where it is?" I eyed him sourly again but he didn't move, the smirk was still plastered on his face. Smug.

"Depends." he said as he ran his fingers through his ruffled hair.

"Excuse me? On what?" I was ready to slap him. Oh God I was so ready.

"Would you go out with me?" He asked as he looked around the porch for the millionth time and then his green eyes met mine.

"NO!" I screamed before thinking. He was trying to talk me into going out with him. He started to walk away "Are you just going to leave me here?" I stomped my foot and he laughed.

"Seems so." he shrugged and turn around as he continued walking

"Wait...okay I'll go out with you. Now where's the key?" Okay so I accepted. I needed to get into that house it was freezing cold out here.

"You promise?" He asked

"Yes." I nodded, I could tell my eyes were wide. Of course I did! I just wanted the damn key!

"And if you break that promise I can tell everyone I saw you in your underwear?" he asked smiling again as he pulled something out of his pocket.

"Yes, yes! Now give me the key please." Wait did I just agree _to that?_

"Here." he said as he dropped the small key on my hand "Make sure you give it back to us."

"Emergencies, right." I said as I opened the door. "Thank you. Here you can have it." I placed the key in the palm of his hand and for a second our skin was in contact

"I'll be seeing you Isabella." He whispered as he walked away, chuckling cryptically.

How was I supposed to focus on anything now?

‏


	3. Playboy

**Beautiful Disaster**

_A/N: You guys are just made of awesome! I love-love-love-you. Thank you for the reviews, alerts, favs everything! It makes me so happy to know that you like what I'm writing. Okay so I took a suggestion of one of the reviews. So this chapter is basically the previews two in Eddie's P.O.V ;) Enjoy! And remember, reviews are like Edward, the more you get the better. _

**EPOV **

_So the last thing you expect when you walk into someone's house is to find a girl you didn't even know that lived there, in her underwear. I mean don't get me wrong, I've seen weird things, but this it just tops all the other situations in my life. Well besides the fact that the girl is incredibly gorgeous and it's not acting like an idiot around me. In fact her blushing is sort of beautiful. Did I just think that? Okay so I didn't get to talk much to her because Rosalie interrupted us, but that doesn't mean I can't ask Rosalie about her, right? So maybe Rosalie punches me, maybe she doesn't. This girl was gorgeous so I'll take my chances.  
_

"So…you're cousin?" I asked casually as I leaned against my car. Rosalie seemed very focused in...whatever she was doing to the engine. She threw her head back and it seemed like she was praying. Probably for me to go away.

"My cousin, for your information is too good for you so stay away from her." she muttered as she pulled her greasy hands out of the engine.

"Too good for me? She seemed just fine for me. And she's fine." I winked at her and she punched me hard on the arm, leaving a black fist on my new shirt.

"Edward let me put it this way for you, you make a move on her and I'll tell Esme you were speeding up again." she said as she finished whatever she was doing. She paused for a moment and looked at the engine again "Are you trying to destroy your car?" _Not me. My sister._

"No. Have you talked to Alice yes, Rose?" I asked trying to seem care free. I wanted my car safe and for that I needed that bitch fight to be over. Soon.

"That was low, even for you Cullen." she muttered angrily.

"Even for me?" I asked as I chuckled. Rosalie's banter was hilarious as always. I had missed her insulting to be honest.

"You know what I mean." She answered angrily, her fingers were curled and she seemed to be having trouble controlling herself.

"Okay, what happens if I ask your cousin out, Emmett will kick my ass?" I teased. His name still tasted bitter, I couldn't believe that Rosalie had turned me down for the new weirdo-s in town. She sighed and bit her lip, apparently amused by her thoughts.

"No. I will kick your sorry ass smarty pants." She giggled for a minute letting her guard down. "Done, I fixed it."

"Thank you Rosa-bitch." I felt her small fist hitting my arm again. What had the poor shirt ever done to her?

"Idiot." She mumbled and walked away back into the house.

_I was going to kill my little, pixie sister. She had speed up with my car and almost broke my engine for me to ask Rosalie to talk to her, was she out of her mind? She knew that my car was the most important thing for me, besides my family and still, she almost broke it to work out her bitch-fight with her supposed best friend. Yeah right, like Rosalie and Alice have ANYTHING in common at all, that could help their friendship. They probably talked about...Trent Ford all day long. I rolled my eyes as I walked out back to my house, I would pull the car out of Rosalie's driveway later. Hopefully she'll learn to control her anger and she wouldn't scratch it ot something. So I entered my house slowly, waiting for Alice to come out of nowhere and ask a bunch of pointless questions. Five…Four…Three…Two…One _

"Edward!" A high pitched voice followed by little steps against the wood greeted me in my way in. There just in time was my small sister.

"Yes, my beloved and only sister?" I answered as I walked towards the refrigerator and grabbed the ice cream that was left from her girls-night-out last night. Chocolate, yummy my favourite.

"Don't sweet-talk to me Edward Cullen. What happened?" She asked tapping her foot impatiently against the wood as I grabbed a spoon to eat some ice-cream.

"With what exactly?" I was enjoying this. She had hurt my little baby and now she was going to pay.

"Rosalie!" She exclaimed exasperated throwing her short arms up in the air as she sighed. I chuckled as I swallowed.

"Oh. You mean what happened with my car that had to be fixed by Rosalie after you almost broke it to give a reason to talk to her and ask her to talk to you?"

"Pretty much, yes." she nodded eagerly, I laughed this time. She looked like a little monkey.

"You suck." I answered lightly as I focus on my ice-cream again.

"You stink and so does your clothing." She said pointing at the black spots on my new shirt. Then she stuck her tongue out.

"Well your former best friend suck." She threw her head back as she laughed when I said that and she placed her hands on her hips.

"You only said that because she wouldn't date you." she teased as she rolled her eyes and sat down beside me.

"No I only said that because she's dating the Whitlock guy."

"And she wouldn't date you." she teased again as she rested her chin in her hand, smiling evilly.

"Ugh. Well I've got you a new best friend." _Yes Hopefully Alice will be friends with the pretty girl.._

"Really?" she seemed amused now, either but my proposal or by her nails.

"Her name's Bella, Rosalie's cousin." I said as I pointed out with the spoon, she wrinkled her nose, but then what I had said sunk in.

"Bella came by and she didn't even call me? She must be really mad." She looked around biting her lip.

"You know her?" _So Alice did know the pretty girl_

"No, but Rosalie talks a lot about her.." she paused for a minute "Do you think that Rosalie replaced me with Emmett?" she got up and walked towards the window.

"Well I assure I know more about her than you do.." she looked sad all of a sudden but I went on "No. Well she did if you used to have sex with her."

"What do you mean?" she was peeking through the window now trying to catch a glimpse of her former best friend and her cousin "And ew no, but they talk a lot, they are always in the doorstep talking…she talks to Jasper too..." she trailed off.

"She was in her underwear, in the middle of the living room when I walked in…" _Oh good memories_ "Whatever Alice I'm not getting involved in your bitch fight, you called her whore because you thought she was dating a guy and she's dating his brother."

"I know, I'm an idiot but…wait did you just say underwear?" she turned around eyeing me sourly.

"Yes I did." I nodded, smiling. I was so proud of myself.

"EDWARD!" she shouted as she slapped the back of my head.

"What?" She rolled her eyes, why do girls always hit me? "I didn't get her out of her clothing, she was without it when I arrived."

"Ugh, at least don't laugh about it. You're such a perv." She said as she started walking upstairs.

"Well you still SUCK!"

--

_It had been two days since I had seen Bella in the supermarket, she looked so pretty with her … wait did I just think that again? God I need to stop, why do I need this girl to give me all her attention? I don't do that, girls do that. Forreals. Ugh, she looks adorable when she's angry, like today in class, Why is Rosalie looking at me like that? What did I do now? Oh, the dinner. Bella's blushing…she's so pretty. God make me stop PLEASE! Now I'm praying? Great, the girl is driving me crazy. Okay it's nothing…I just have a crush on her, I just need to date her for a while, be with her, and it will be over? Right? Right? I must sound like crazy, and why do I sit here with all of Alice's little followers? Is Jessica Stanley hitting on me? That's disgusting. Did she just wink at me? I'm scared. I need therapy and this girl obviously needs a flirting lesson.  
_

"So Edward, what are you doing on Friday night?" _Sometimes I wonder if I was a rapist on my previous life. It's the only logical explanation of why Jessica would be asking me out._

"Um..nothing, I mean I have a date." I answered too quickly, without thinking. I should've said I was going out with the boys. Shit.

"With who?" _Was that jealousy in her tone? Did she think she had actual right to be jealous?_

"Um…a girl that you don't know." _Smug Edward. That would stop her. _

"Bella Swan." Alice interrupted, she eyed Jessica for a minute and then she turned around and continued talking about some nail-polish.

"Bella Swan? You got a date with her?" she asked shocked, her jaw fell open and her eyes were wide. Jeez was what Bella Swan? The Paris Hilton of school? Oh wait...Paris Hilton is a whore...

"Yes, Jessica." Alice stated AGAIN, dragging me out of my thoughts "What's so surprising about that?"

"She's Rosalie's cousin." she said as if that explained everything...well it kind of did.

"And..?" Alice moved her hands and rolled her eyes encouraging her to go on. I could tell she was annoyed by Jessica's constant stupid comments.

"Rosalie hates you both." she spoke again. _Queen of understatements Jessica Stanley._

"She does not." Alice gritted her teeth together and her hands fisted in the air.

"Does too." Jessica answered back grinning.

"Shut up." Alice ordered as she turned around and continued ignoring her, talking to Lauren.

"Whatever." Jessica said as she got up and started leaving the cafeteria, she ran into a very pissed off Rosalie who pushed her aside. Alice giggled

"Alice, what did you just do?" I turned to her arching my eyebrow as I tried to keep it together.

"What…is not like they're going to go and ask her." she shrugged and grabbed her bottle.

"Is Jessica, Alice." I said through my teeth as she kept on drinking

"And?" she asked again.

"I have a reputation to keep." I answered again. God forbid that people found out that

"Yeah right, Edward your reputation is myth, you don't have one, you're Forks High manwhore." she answered shrugging again. _God I love my sister_

"How am I going to get a date with her?" I asked again. She seemed completely calm.

"You just…find your way, you're the playboy." She winked at me as she got up grabbing her purse and walking away.

_Great. I love my sister._

--

"Edward, what did you do?"

I opened one eye to find Alice standing with her small hands on her hips in front of my bed, oh I was having my happy moment and she had to ruin it, ugh great. Couldn't her high pitched voice and her pointy hair stay away from me for more than five seconds? Was she stalking me?

"Yes, beloved sister?" I answered I knew how to get out of this easily.

"Don't 'beloved sister' me, Edward Anthony Cullen I saw you." She pointed out the window to Rosalie's house and I bit my lip. So I kind of bribed Bella. What?

"Okay so I asked her out, in fact she agreed." _She kind of did agreed...well._

"You black mailed her!" she exclaimed. I chuckled, my sister got exasperated so easily.

"I did not." She rolled her eyes "Okay I did, but I told you, reputation. You were the one who made this happen, you know?"

"Me? Why?" she tapped her foot against the wood. Patience was a virtue.

"You told Jessica I had a date with her..." I said as I looked around the room. So much for some peace.

"Aw..well Rosalie will kick your ass." she stated as she grabbed a book from the floor and looked at it.

"No if I tell her it was your fault." I muttered she dropped the book and looked at me but then she pulled it together again.

"She's not going to believe you, ass." she muttered as she placed her hand back on her hips.

"I'm not the one who called her whore." I sighed as I looked up to the ceiling.

"Smarty Pants." she said and started walking towards the door. I chuckled under my breath.

"Alice, Edward! Dinner's ready!" our mother musical voice interrupted us. Thankfully.

"Coming!" Alice shouted back "You tell Rosalie that, and you're going to regret it."And she made her great exit.

_"I have a feeling that's not the only thing I'm going to regret."_

‏


	4. Drunk

**Beautiful Disaster**

_A/N: Officially you people are the best ever. Really I love getting so many reviews and knowing that people like what I'm writing every time I get into my e-mail I get all giggly and happy. I love getting suggestions in my reviews because I like knowing what I'm doing wrong or if you would like me to improve something, and I'm glad you're finding this story funny because well that was my whole point. Oh and for the person that asked Edward was having a 'happy moment' because he had got a date with Bella…he wasn't doing..anything. This whole chapter is about the date Bella's POV. If you want Edward's let me know. Edward loves people that review! _

**BPOV **

So I have to go to in this stupid date, with stupid Edward. Obviously he will be standing there with the stupid smile in his face, and the almost uncontrollable urge to kiss him, will come to me. Again. I mean to punch him. I want to punch him. Because he sucks, and I will want to punch him all night long, and besides I have to hide this from Rosalie, who, I don't know why, believed I'm going to Port Angels by myself. Probably because Emmet's coming over. Ew. Is there someone knocking on my window? I turned around only to find Edward trying to climb into my room.

"Madam." He greeted as he struggled with his body. I coughed to hide my laughter

"There's a front door, you know?" I said as I pretended not to care and tried to hide my blushing by brushing my hair in front of the mirror, he finally got into the room and started to walk towards me. I sighed, faking my anger, but he decided to stop along the way.

"But you don't want Rosalie to find out." He said as he laid down on my bed "So this is your bed huh?"

"You do that and you can forget about your little friend down there." he threw his head back as silenced his laugh with my pillow and I could only think that it would smell like him later. "We're going in Rosalie's car."

"She's not going to notice anyway, she'll be to busy…" he trailed off looking around the room as I ran my fingers through my hair and tried to fix my make up.

"Shut up." I muttered angrily at him as I shifted my eyes. Idiot. Then I heard it, heavy steps running down the stairs, I immediately flew to cover his mouth with my hand.

"What?" he moved his lips against my hand and I felt an electric shock going through my body. But I decided to ignore it since I was about to get caught and possibly murdered.

"She's coming, from upstairs, you need to go, NOW!" I whispered quickly as I moved to my window to open it. I struggled with the frame for a second until he got up.

"Okay, okay. I'm leaving." He said as he opened the window without effort.

"Wait outside, I'll be right out and I'm driving." I said as I pointed outside the window. I could hear Rosalie's steps clearer and clearer.

"Okay whatever you say, Bells." he muttered as he positioned himself to jump out of my window. I frowned

"Bells?" my voice came out dry for some reason, my hand flew to my throat.

"It's cute." he shrugged

"Get out." I bit my lip and closed my eyes as I waited.

"Bella!" Rosalie's musical voice made me jump in my place, I turned around and walked towards the door "Are you leaving?"

"In a minute! Why?" I ran my fingers through my hair as I looked desperately for my jacket.

"Emmett's here!" she singed as she walked away from the door

"Oh." I grabbed my purse, open the door and walked out of my room, only to find the not-so-surprising-view Emmet and Rosalie in a heated make out session "I'll be back, late."

None of them answered.

--

"You look stunning."

I felt his warm breath in my neck and I turned around quickly, he was too close, his green eyes dazzled me, and I felt like passing out, my knees were weak and his warm breath still on my face, he leaned closer and I stopped breathing for a moment. I closed my eyes for a moment to breathe again and when I opened them he was already inside of the car, smiling at me with that stupid smirk of his.

"What are you doing? I told you I was driving." I placed my hands on my hips and gave him my best annoyed look.

"I have the keys." He smiled as he showed the key in the palm of his hand and smiled at me again. Show off

"I…you…how did you do that?" My annoyed look must have turned confused or amused.

He had left me there, dazzled almost passing out, just to get my keys. I sighed. He was such a stupid moronic son of...

"C'mon Bella." he interrupted my inner monologue and he patted the seat beside him.

I opened the passenger door and got into the car as I continued muttering under my breath

"Where are you taking me anyway?"

"Oh Bella…I'm going to show you how to have fun."

--

"And by fun you mean coming to a crappy bar to play pool and get drunk?" I asked as he opened the door of the bar

"No, I mean coming to a bar, play a game and drink a little." He rolled his eyes and sighed with fake despair.

"Yes, ugh I hate myself for taking your offer." I pressed my palm against my face and moved towards the bar, at least some alcohol could help me to survive this night.

"Well I love you for doing it." he pinched my cheek as he picked up my pace.

"Bullshit." I muttered as I leaned against the bar and looked at the wide variety of alcohol "So how are we going to drink we don't have ID's and…"

"Oh we do, and besides the bartender is my friend, she has a little crush on me." he winked at me and whistled towards the blond girl that was leaning against the bar on the other side of the bar, she turned around smiling and started walking toward us.

"Ahm." I nodded, Hadn't he noticed that every single girl that had ever look up to his beautiful green eyes had fell in love with him? Ugh I sounded like a soap again, I slapped myself mentally.

"Tanya…" he smiled and leaned forward to look her in the eyes "Two of what I always drink, make it double please"

"That's all?" The blond-ish girl smiled at me and then looked back at Edward "Trying to get her drunk to get some?"

"Surprise me, make it interesting." He winked and I could see that she felt like her heart had stopped beating, well at least I wasn't the only one, he turned around ignoring her last comment and talked to me "Bella. Do you know how to play pool?"

"Of course." _I don't. _Riight but I was going to be drunk in two and a half seconds so I didn't really care.

"Edward…" the bartender called out and left to red bubbling drinks in the bar.

"Thank you…" he said as he lifted one of the glasses and offered to me, I grabbed it and looked at it for some minutes

"What's this?" I asked as I lifted the glass and examined it

"Trust me." He said and he took a sip of his glass and smiled. He seemed satisfied, well at least I hoped it was strong enough to serve it's purpose.

"If you say so." I took a sip of it, or at least I thought so.

"Whoa take it easy Bells, we have all the night left." Edward took the glass away from me and positioned it on the bar.

"Well I'm thirsty." I grabbed the glass and continued drinking it until there was no more "Hey, Tanya, right?"

"Yes?" she turned around smiling

"Give me another one of these..make it triple." I winked at her and walked towards the pool table were Edward already was.

"Okay." She nodded and grabbed the empty glass

"Bella I don't think you should drink that much." Edward muttered as I reached the table.

"And you said you knew how to had real fun. Pftt" I threw my hand in the air and let out a...really weird sound.

--

_2 hours later _

"Edward…I think I'm drunk." _Why was he carrying me? My head was so confused...what was? Oh shiny light!_

"I know you are." his voice sounded funny. Like a texture. That was funny.

"How come you're not drunk? And why are you carrying me as a husband carries his wife? Did we get married?" _Why could he walk straight when I couldn't even focus in something for more than two seconds...?_

"I have more resistance to alcohol than you. And no we're not married, I'm just carrying you because you can't walk." I nodded, that was true...My legs felt like jelly.

"Oh gooood….Rosalie was going to kill me if I was married, especially to you…she doesn't like you." I poked his chest and he grimaced, he looked cute when he did that.

"I know." he nodded as he walked towards the car

"I think you're really pretty…" _Why was I confessing? God tongue stop moving!_

"Thanks Bells. Now let me fix this." He said as he sat me in the passenger seat and tried to put my seat belt on

"You're so sweet, I like you, I don't get why Rosalie hates you." I said...uh! His hair looked so pretty, I stretched my arms towards it.

"Me neither Bells." he muttered under his breath as he closed the door and walked in front of the car to the driver's seat.

"I think that we should run away. Flying." I said as I threw my arms up in the air and laughed

"Can you fly?" he laughed too and started the car.

"I can learn…your laugh is so pretty…" It sounded like music and something else...

"Thank you Bella." he pulled out of the parking lot and everything went pitch black when he got into the road.

"Why aren't you funny anymore? I liked you when you were funny. OH WOW. The car is moving." Suddenly everything in my stomach went to my throat but I swallowed it back. It would be weird to vomit in..what car where we in?

"I know I'm taking you home." he replied patiently, like he knew how to treat with drunks. Who treated with him when he was drunk?

"Hoome is were you aree." I singed, my voice came out sore and thick but he laughed anyway.

"Okay Bella I really think you need to stop singing." he laughed and shifted a little in his seat.

"Oh, let's play a game!" I clapped and I almost laughed at myself. I was acting like a two-year-old

"Okay…if that will make you stop singing." he agreed as I continued clapping

"Ask a question…to the radio." I pointed the bright stereo that was in the middle of us.

"To the radio?" he asked cynically

"Just one, c'mon be fuun." I singed the last part again and he rolled his eyes

"Okay…what are Emmet and Rosalie doing?" he muffled out after a sigh

_…dirty babe, you see this shackles baby, I'm your slave I'll let you whip me if I misbehave… _

"Ew! My eyes, my eyes!" my hands flew to my eyes, like I needed that mental image, apparently my brain and my mouth weren't in the same frequency.

"Bella you're not seeing anything." he laughed again and grabbed one of my hands.

"Oh..well ask another one!" I said overly-excited again.

"Okay…what does Bella think of me?" he said as he looked at me smugly.

"Uh uh let's see."

_…but you're so damn hot… _

"That's what you think of me?" he coughed to hide his laughter

"Well you're hot…and funny and pretty. Oh my turn! Well my question is..What does Bella…I mean Edward…think of me?" I smiled and changed the station again

_…because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me… _

"Save you?" I pressed my finger against my chin.

"Stop giggling Bella, it's just a lame game." I looked at him and suddenly realize I was giggling without noticing.

"Uh someone's moody…you're like big bad bear." I pouted and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Stop laughing. Okay my turn. What does Bella wants me to do when we get her home?" he asked. Trick question. Bastard.

_...kiss me under the milky… _

"That's so cute! Will you kiss me? Under the stars?" I humored him as I clasped my hands together and let out a dreamy sigh. There was no reason for me acting like the girl of Sleepless in Seattle.

"Bella you are drunk." he said again.

"No I'm not…who's Bella?" suddenly my brain was all fuzzy again.

"We're here." he announced as he stopped the car and turned off the engine.

"Here…like the movie?" Sleepless in Seattle? Were we talking about that?

"No. Here at your house." he said as he got out of the car and came to open my door.

"Okay, can you carry me?" I asked stretching my arms towards him as he undid my seat belt

"Sure." he sighed as he put his arms around me and pulled me out of the car.

--

"ROOSALIEE!"

"Shh Bells stop shouting, you don't want her to wake up." his body was rigid and he started walking quickly towards my room.

"Oh I just wanted to make sure that her and Emmet weren't doing what the radio said." I giggled whispering as well, his arms were comfortable.

"I think you need to lay down. Get some sleep, your head is going to hurt tomorrow." he said as he closed the door of my room behind him and walked towards my bed

"Hurt? I don't know what that is. It sounds funny!" I laughed whispering again as he placed me in the bed, he moved down and started taking off my shoes.

"It's not." he said as he threw the high heels across the room and moved back to my face, placing my hair behind my ears.

"This bed is really comfortable, I like it. You're really sweet Edward." I whispered as he leaned closer, examining my face.

"Okay I'm leaving now, but we'll talk tomorrow." he muttered finally, he kissed my forehead and got up but I grabbed him by the arm making him stumble onto the bed.

"Wait! Won't you do what the radio said?" I asked as I realized that now I was lying down and that he was on top of me.

"Kiss you? Bells you're drunk and you won't remember anything in the morning and I…" he rambled. I wasn't a fan of rambling. Not right now.

So he stopped rambling. Actually I cut his rambling by pressing my lips against him, as soon as I caught him I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. And he responded, God he did. He ran his hands down my sides, wrapping his arms around my waist, he slowly parted my lips with his tounge and made his way into my mouth, even if I didn't want to. My breath probably smelled like alcohol and vomit. That wasn't very appealing. I kissed him harder, pressing every inch of my body to his and I was suddenly glad we were lying because I would've fall if we weren't.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN!" a loud voice interrupted us, he pulled away, breathless.

"Rosalie! Hey…you look pretty…that sounds funny too!" All the alcohol went back to my head, where Edward had been a few seconds aog.

"Edward you got her drunk?" she asked as she flipped her hair back and bit her lip in frustration.

"No I…Bells let me go please?" he pleaded and I realized I still had my arms around his neck, pulling him close to me.

"Noo. Don't leave, pretty please." I pouted and tightened my grip around his neck, he gave me a smile.

"Isabella let him go NOW!" Rosalie demanded as she stomped her foot.

"You're so mean Rosalie...meany meany pants." I stuck my tongue at her and loosened my grip, dropping my arms to my side.

"Edward out NOW!" she demanded again her long finger pointing the door. Edward rolled his eyes and muttered something.

"Bye Bells." he pressed a small kiss to my forehead and got up from my bed.

"Bella, get some sleep, tomorrow you and I are having a really long conversation." Rosalie concluded as Edward left the room.

She slammed the door and I felt all the night playing in my head all over again.

Shit.

‏


	5. Kiss

**Beautiful Disaster**

_A/N: So you are officially and most definitely the best ever. So many awesome reviews! I know that it seem a little unrealistic that Bella would remember the date if she was drunk, but I had to write it in her POV for Edward's to make sense. So this is the date in Edward's POV. Next chapter is dinner at the Cullens! giggles . So this one is kind of short. Btw you people had never played that radio game? Is so fun, I played it once, when I was kind of drunk and I ended up completely embarrassed. If you review I'll love you forever! And I will update sooner. _

**EPOV **

_So when I asked Bella out, and kind of forced her to accept, I did it because I thought a date with her will get her out of my mind. For sure. And that I could move on to the next girl I wanted to screw. Well guess what? It's not working, even if she's kind of drunk and dancing in a pool table she still looks like the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Wow the girl got some moves. What is she doing? Showing some skin? Oh..she's stripping. No No. _

"Bella!" I said as I grabbed her hands and pulled her hands away from her shirt "I think that was enough fun for tonight."

"You're so boring…" she giggled and threw her hands around my neck, throwing her whole weight on me "Besides it's nothing you haven't seen before."

"Bella we need to get out of here." I said as I scooped her up in my arms, she continued giggling. I started walking towards the door of the bar and waved Tanya goodbye in the way.

"WOW! I'm flying Edward!" she laughed again and I could smell the alcohol on her breath.

"Yes Bells. You definitely are a little bit high." I laughed along with her, her fingers were tracing my neck lightly.

"I didn't get that…" she stared at the stillness for a while, like she was thinking about something deep and serious, then she turned to me again and laughed "Do you think I'm pretty? 'Cause I think you're soo gorgeous and I'm not pretty, that makes me so sad."

"You're beautiful Bella." I stated, was this girl drunk or out of her mind? She was silent for a while and then spoke again, we finally had gotten our of that bar and I was walking towards the car.

"Edward…I think I'm drunk." she muttered as her head fell on my shoulder.

"I know you are." I smiled she was so cute_. You must stop. _

"How come you're not drunk? And why are you carrying me as a husband carries his wife? Did we get married?" she asked suddenly surprised, her eyes shot open.

"I have more resistance to alcohol than you. And no we're not married," _I'm going to pretend I don't wish that was true. _" I'm just carrying you because you can't walk."

"Oh gooood….Rosalie was going to kill me if I was married, especially to you…she doesn't like you." she poked my chest and laughed again.

"I know." _Tell me something I don't know _

"I think you're really pretty…" she trailed off as I placed her in the passenger seat.

"Thanks Bells. Now let me fix this." I was fighting her seat belt while she kept playing with my hair and her hands

"You're so sweet, I like you, I don't get why Rosalie hates you." I finally finished her sear belt and got shaking the dirt off of my pants

"Me neither Bells." I muttered as I closed the door and walked around the car to get in the driver's seat.

"I think that we should run away. Flying." she threw her arms in the air and laughed

"Can you fly?" This girl was hilarious when she was drunk, really.

"I can learn…your laugh is so pretty…" she pointed out as she stared at me.

"Thank you Bella." I answered as I pulled into the road

"Why aren't you funny anymore? I liked you when you were funny. OH WOW. The car is moving."

"I know I'm taking you home." I shot a few glances at her worried that she might vomit. I didn't care about Rosalie's car at all.

"Hoome is were you aree." she singed as she moved her hands in the air.

"Okay Bella I really think you need to stop singing." I laughed in the inside, she was so adorable.

So after some stupid radio game and more of Bella's non-sense talking we got to her house. I was worried how alcohol got so fast to her head I mean she had only drunk three drinks. I was actually worried of what would've happened if she had been with someone else. But my mind refused to analyze that. She was with me. She was going to be with me. We entered the house. What I wasn't expecting was what happened next.

"This bed is really comfortable, I like it. You're really sweet Edward." she muttered as I examined her face, I wanted to make sure she wasn't hurt.

"Okay I'm leaving now, but we'll talk tomorrow." I got up but she caught my wrist between her fingers and pulled me down again, I landed on top of her.

"Wait! Won't you do what the radio said?" _She wasn't expecting me to kiss her, was she? She was so drunk she couldn't even remember her own name. _

"Kiss you? Bells you're drunk and you won't remember anything in the morning and I…"

I felt her lips against mine in that moment. She tightened her grip around me and pulled me closer, and my hands dropped running down her sides. She was glorious. God she was amazing. She opened her mouth and moaned into mine, the taste of the alcohol inviading my mouth. She seemed confident all of a sudden and she pressed every inch of her body to mine. God this girl surely knew how to kiss.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN!" I pulled away, I was panting.

"Rosalie! Hey…you look pretty…that sounds funny too!" she giggled again and clapped her hands.

"Edward you got her drunk?" _Damn it. Fuck it. Screw it. Rosalie had to find us in this exact moment? _

"No I…Bells let me go please?" her grip around my neck tightened.

"Noo. Don't leave, pretty please." She smiled at me again and played with my hair a bit.

"Isabella let him go NOW!" Rosalie demanded as she stomped her foot.

"You're so mean Rosalie...meany meany pants." Bella's arms fell at her sides and she stuck her tounge out at Rose.

"Edward out NOW!" she lifted her arm and pointed the door.

"Bye Bells." I said as I pressed my lips against her forehead and got up from the bed.

"Bella, get some sleep, tomorrow you and I are having a really long conversation." Rosalie said as she slammed the door. A second later she turned around and placed her hands on her hips. "Edward."

"I'm leaving now." I said as I turned around and sighed.

"No…not so quickly. You got her drunk Edward? What were you trying to do? Screw her? Because you're not drunk, obviously." she grabbed my arm and stopped me for leaving.

"No Rosalie, we were out for fun and she kind of drank a lot, I wasn't trying to screw her, she kissed me, I was leaving." I shrugged, why was she so worried? Jeez. It had only been a few drinks. It wasn't like she was working in a strip-club.

"It didn't look like it, and why did you follow her to Port Angels?" she questioned again.

"Followed her?" Why would I follow her when she was with me?

"Yes, Bella was going out by herself tonight." she said as she flipped her hair back.

"Oh.." I finally understood but unfortunately so did Rosalie.

"I can't believe this! She lied to me." Rosalie exclaimed as she covered her face with her hands.

"Rosalie you're not her mother." I reminded her again. She sighed.

"No but I'm responsible for her, Edward." she walked towards the front door and opened it.

"Well nothing happened." I said, I turned around too and started walking towards the door.

"And nothing's going to happen either, stay away from her Edward, do you hear me?" she stared at me murderosly.

"Are you threatening me?" I couldn't believe this, this girl was worst than an angry dad.

"I'm warning you." she grimaced and opened the door further.

"Okay…" I shrugged.

"Leave." she said as she pointed outside.

"Not my mother." I said as I started walking towards the door.

"Now." she snarled.

Rosalie slammed the door behind me and I sighed out in frustration. How was I supposed to stay away from Bella, when I spend all the day just thinking about her? Maybe Rosalie was right, maybe she was too good for me, but I needed to prove myself that I could have her or I was going to end up crazy. I started walking towards my house when I realized that the kitchen light was on. I snorted, it was probably Alice and her annoying questions. I opened the door and there was my beloved sister, waiting.

"I'm not in the mood Alice." I said and continued walking towards the stairs.

"I know that you went out, with a girl." she accused and jumped out of the chair, and walked behind me.

"Well I think that you should worry if I started going out with guys." I could hear her rolling her eyes as she bounced up the stairs.

"You know what I mean Edward." she offered again. I could hear the underlying tone in her voice.

"I went out with Bella, it was fine, thank you." I ran my fingers through my hair as I opened my bedroom's door.

"Why was Rosalie yelling?" she said as she walked into my room and I fell onto the bed.

"She wasn't…" she rolled her eyes again "She got mad at me because Bella was drunk."

"Edward!" she raised her high-pitched voice.

"I didn't force her to drink." I closed my eyes and pressed my face into the pillow.

"Well I don't know that." she accused again.

"I'm going to sleep Alice, we'll talk tomorrow." I pulled the blanket over me and turned around.

"But Edward.." she started again.

"Tomorrow."

‏


	6. Dinner

**Beautiful Disaster**

_A/N: I love you people! Sorry it took me so long to update but I had my hands full. Well chapter of the dinner at the Cullens, Bells POV. I'm not so sure about this chapter but you're the readers! So you'll tell me. Reviews equal hot sexy love! _

**BPOV **

_I opened one eye and then the other. I think my roof was spinning. Immediately I felt a hammer falling in my head, and the last night played in my head all over again. The hangover was taking over me and I had to get up before it immobilize me. I got up in one sudden movement. Ouch. My room was dark and when I opened the door the light hit me, like a slap in the face, so kind of blind and with the night hammering in my head I reached the kitchen almost crawling, there was Rosalie drinking a glass of water and reading a magazine. I looked at the clock and it was…seven o'clock how much had I slept? _

"You look like shit." She said as she continued staring at Josh Hartnett in the page

I rolled my eyes "Thank you Rose."

"But you better put some make up on, because we have to go over the Cullens."

"Is that tonight?"

"Emmet and Jasper will be here in half an hour."

"They're going too?"

"Esme said it was okay."

"Ugh." I wasn't up for a fight with my head like this.

"By the way, the next time you're about to have sex with Edward Cullen, you might as well close your door."

"HAVE SEX?" The only thing I remembered from last night, was kissing him. How could I forget?

"You were making out." She explained "In your bed."

"Oh well." I sighed "There's a difference."

"Well go and get ready. And put some make up on. You look like shit."

"You already said that!"

"Oh by the way, Alice came by to drop these, Edward send it for you." She showed me a glass with a weird liquid

"No thank you. I don't want to get drunk again."

"He says it's a hangover medicine."

"Okay…" I grabbed the glass and when I was about to drink Rosalie shouted

"Wait! That's some stupid mix I did, don't drink it."

"Why did you give this to me?"

"Why do you trust this guy so much?"

"Ugh Rosalie you're kind of crazy."

"You trust him."

"I'm going to put some clothes on. Don't bug me."

---

_So an hour later the four of us were standing in front of the Cullen front door. Emmet was holding Rose by the waist and Jasper was saying something about their constant PDA and why Rosalie had lied to them about taking them out for dinner and instead bringing them to the Cullens house. Emmet didn't mind as long as he was with Rose. He didn't say it but we all knew. Oh God I need to stop thinking so much because my head stills feel ugh. _

"Hello kids." A brunette woman said as she opened the door, she looked like she was in her thirties and she kind of look like Alice "Come in, Rosalie you haven't come here in so long." She said as she hugged Rosalie "Emmet, Jasper…and you must be Bella." I smiled

"Hi..you're Esme, right?"

"Yes honey, give me hug." She gave me a motherly hug and I realized how much I had missed that.

When I walked into the house, Emmet, Jasper and Rosalie had already sit in a couch, Rosalie in the middle of the two guys, a blonde man was in the couch in front of them and besides him was Alice.

"Hey Bella." She smiled at me "This is Carlise, my father." The blonde man smiled at me and when Alice turned around I noticed the tension between Rosalie and her, apparently so did Carlise.

"I'm going to help you mother." He said to Alice and disappeared in the hallway.

"Um…I need to go to the bathroom." I said, trying to avoid the weird tension.

"Down the hallway, second door, right." Alice said without looking at me

"Thanks." I started walking down the hallway when I suddenly felt a hand pulling me, and I was dragged inside a room, before I could say anything I was trapped in between Edward's body and the door. "What…let me go!"

"Sh. Don't shout."

"Well then let me go."

"Don't think so…you own me something."

"What? I don't own you anything you got me drunk!"

"You own me a kiss."

"I already kissed you."

"Exactly, you kissed me, it means I have to kiss you."

"Oh no buddy, don't even think about…"

I felt interrupted by his lips against mine. I didn't doubt about responding, I wrapped my arms around his neck and I stopped feeling the floor under my feet, he had wrapped his arms around my waist and slowly lifted me. There was no space for air in between us. My feet stop touching the floor, and I realized I couldn't find anything to lean on but the door or Edward. His hands made the way under my shirt and he hugged me wrapping his arms around me, again. He slowly pulled away from me and rested his forehead in mine. I felt my irregular breathing, my heartbeat was out of control, he slowly put me down and I almost felt to the floor because my knees where still weak.

"Close the door when you leave." He whispered and gave me a small kiss in the cheek then walked out.

I tried to focused on fixing my hair and my breathing, and when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror I noticed my red, swollen lips. Oh god I was in trouble. I slowly opened the door and walked down the hallway to the living room. Esme and Carlise weren't there but Edward was there now, he turned around and looked at me and I felt the blush in my cheeks again.

"Bella, where were you?" Rosalie asked me smiling.

"I…was…I got lost."

"Oh."

Awkward silence.

"Dinner's ready!"

I think everyone in the room sighed out in relief.

---

"So, Rosalie, what have you been doing lately? Why did you stop coming over?" Esme asked as she smiled.

"Because..." she locked eyes with Alice "Bella's here and well, I was helping her to settle down."

"Oh. Well Bella can come over too, you know you're like a daughter to us, Rose."

"Thank you." Rosalie smiled again. "But why hasn't Alice, come over my house?"

I cursed her mentally.

"Because…" Alice said in a calm voice "You won't open the door."

"Because you never knock."

"Because you will slam it in my face."

"Because you called me a whore!"

"ENOUGH!" Esme said her tone had changed to angry now "Alice, Rosalie. Enough."

Awkward silence. Again

My hand fell to the side of my chair and I felt Edward's fingers, tangled in mine, he was _holding_my hand.

---

So a couple of hours later I was in my bed staring at the ceiling, thinking over the weirdest night ever, Rosalie had gone out with Emmet and she hadn't returned yet, and I didn't want to go to a bar, I was still having a hangover. Suddenly I was dragged out of my personal world when something knocked on my window. I got up slowly and got close to it…

"Edward!"

"Open up is freezing out here."

"Go to your house!"

"I have cookies and ice-cream." He said as he showed me a bag

"Okay." I giggled and I opened the window, he climbed in really easily and gave me the bag and sat down in my bed

"Okay Edward, what do you want?"

"Nothing, hang out with you for a while."

"Forreal. Can I stay please? My mom had a fight with Alice and everything's weird."

"Okay…now the ice-cream."

"I was lying."

"You suck."

"You know you love me."

_Oh I know I do. _


	7. Spell

**Beautiful Disaster**

_A/N: Again you're made of awesome, in case you forgot. I'm really glad you're liking my story and that you enjoy reading what I write, it makes my day. Really! For the person that asked why Alice would fight with Esme, well because it's what teenage daughters do. LOL. Besides it's because Esme got mad at her when she found out she had called Rosalie a whore, because as you may have noticed Esme loves Rosalie like another daughter. And Rosalie used to almost live there because she was Alice's best friend. And this chapter goes changing POV's too. Well hope you enjoy. Reviews are hot love! _

**BPOV **

_For the past week Edward had come over every single night. He didn't even bother making up an excuse and he stayed all night long talking and then before sunrise, he left to his house. I barely managed to keep my eyes open at school, but I totally and positively like him. And I want to spend as much time as I can with him. Mhm…had I fallen asleep while I was talking to him last night? Oh crap. Did he leave? And what's that thing around my waist?. _

I opened my eyesand saw an arm around my waist. Oh shit. I slowly turned around and when I did I found Edward's perfect face staring at me. I didn't look into his eyes during a long time, because I'd probably faint if I did. I looked away but I couldn't help to notice how adorable he looked with his messy hair and that sleepy face.

"Morning Sunshine." He said smiling and slowly leaned on me, pressed his lips against mine for a second and then pulled away

"Hey, you're not allowed to do that!" I really need to learn to control my heartbeat.

"I couldn't resist, you look so adorable." He smiled, oh what the hell, I leaned closer and kissed him again, he immediately turned us around, he was on top of me, and he opened his mouth slightly opened and I think I stopped breathing. So Edward and I weren't dating, we occasionally make out and well…that was normal, right?

"What if Rosalie comes?" I asked him, his lips were in my cheek now

"I locked the door…God you're beautiful when you blush."

"Edward…"

"Bella? Why's your door close? Open the door!" Rosalie's voice interrupted my own heaven

"Oh shit." I pushed him off of me "You have to leave, right now!"

"But I thought you were enjoying our time together." He smiled at me

"Shh…don't talk, jump out the window, NOW!"

"Okay…"

"Bella, who are you talking to?"

He took a long step in front of me, grabbed my face with his hands and kissed me, and when I opened my eyes, he had disappeared and my heart was out of control again.

"Bella if you don't open the door in…"

"What? What do you want?"

"Nothing. We're leaving in ten minutes."

"I could have been doing something important. You know?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know, important stuff."

"Really?"

"You suck."

---

**EPOV**

So when I was climbing my window, the last thing I expected when I got into my room was Alice to be sitting in my bed, already ready to go to school. She smiled in an evil way at me, and I felt the shiver down my spine.

"Where have you been Edward Cullen?"

"Um…drinking?"

"No. You've been at Rosalie's, right?"

"Maybe."

"With Bella."

"Possibly."

"Edward…"

"Alice…"

"Did you sleep with her, Edward?"

"What? No! Of course no!"

"You promise?"

"Yes, Alice. What are you going to go and ask her?"

"Maybe." She rolled her eyes "I'll wait in the car, don't be late."

"Alice…don't tell Mom and Dad, please."

"Of course I'm not going to tell them silly." She smiled "I'm going to blackmail you with it. You have to come shopping with me today."

"What?"

"See ya!"

Oh crap.

---

**BPOV **

_My first class this morning is biology. Biology. Oh crap that's Edward. Well Edward's not the class. Oh my god, how pervy did that sound? Okay, everyone's staring at me, am I late again? What do I have a freaking monkey in my face? Ugh. Oh There he is. God he looks beautiful, he's so handsome, I just want to kiss…NO! NO! I want to punch him. Focused Bella. _

"Bella…" he said smiling at me playfully, his hair was messed and he looked so adorable. My god. "How are you?"

I grunted as I climbed up my seat.

"Rough night?"

"Ask that to yourself."

"Oh I had a wonderful night."

"You bet." I rolled my eyes "God I'm so tired."

"Well…you sleep-talk." He giggled

"Oh my god Edward! Shut up." I punched him in the arm, then I realized what he had just say "What did you hear?"

"Nothing."

"Edward Cullen. Tell me right now what…"

"Nothing you mumbled a bunch of non-sense."

"Oh."

"And you said my name."

"What? Oh my god." I felt the blushing creeping up my cheeks " Please tell me I didn't say anything else." God and I knew that my dreams with Edward were, well kind of PG-13 rated.

"No you just said my name."

"Okay." I took a deep breath and tried to relax.

---

"Edward Cullen is staring at you."

"What?" I lifted my eyes from my _disgusting _meal, and I stared into my cousin big blue eyes.

"He is."

I turned around slowly and I found his playful eyes, on me. His hair was still messy, and a huge grin was on his face. I felt the butterflies in my stomach fighting to get out, crashing against the walls, and how the blushing in my cheeks kept coming back. I turned around.

"Bella, you better watch it. It seems like you really like him." Rosalie seemed worried

"And?"

"He's a womanizer, Bella. When he's done with you, he'll move on to the next girl. That's what he does. Everyone sees it. I don't want you to get hurt, Bells."

"I won't. I don't care that he likes other girls."

"If you say so."

"I don't care."

_It's true. I don't care. Even when Edward pulls me into the janitor closet in between periods, and kisses me until I almost faint, I don't care if after we get out of there I have to see him flirthing with Jessica Stanley. Even when he stands behind me when I'm on my locker and whispers in my ears how beautiful I look I don't care that after that he goes and hugs Angela Webber. Even when he comes over every night and tells me that I have him under my spell I don't care seeing him holding hands with Lauren in the morning. But most of all I don't care if he does makes my knees weak, if he does provoke the butterflies fluttering in my stomach, if he's the responsible for my constant blushing. And I don't fucking care that every time I see him with another girl, I feel that something inside me cracks. _

**_I don't fucking care._**


	8. Doubt

**Beautiful Disaster**

_A/N: So if you look up awesome in the dictionary, you'll find a picture of yourself! Yes, yes, yes! Your reviews crack me up. Forreal. And some of you got a little emotional and well LOL. Okay so here goes my explanation, Bella, is not superficial, yes she was attracted to Edward at the begging because he is gorgeous, but I think that's the first thing that anyone would notice. Anyway Bella it's being innocent and naïve, because it's the first time she's having this feelings towards someone. Well, on the other hand, Edward started doing this, if you look back a few chapters, because he isn't used to, to have such a powerful attraction to someone, let alone feelings, so he's doing this to prove himself that if he fools around with Bella for a while, he'll get over her. Yes he's a jerk, and he's hurting her, but what would be the sense of the story if he wasn't? Edward is a player and he's used to do this. So you're going to kind of hate him in the next chapters. But you're gonna love my hubby aka Jasper. He's taken btw, so don't even think about it. _

_Anyway and for the people who were talking about the typos, as I said in the first chapter, English is not my native language so I may have mistakes. _

**BPOV **

_I'm sick. And I'm not talking about physically sick. I'm a sick person. Why do I do this? Ugh. Rosalie and Alice have been talking to me all day long. They said they had called a truce because they were concerned about me and about what Edward was doing to me. He wasn't doing anything! And I wasn't doing anything either. But they just didn't get it. I had done this. I had got Edward into my life this way. I let him do this. I never asked him for a relationship or a commitment. I didn't want to scare him off, I just wanted him in life. The thought of him leaving, it scared the hell out of me. It scared me even more that getting hurt. And what even scared me more was I didn't know where these feelings of needing and wanting so badly someone. I know what people would think if they knew, that I have no self-respect. But it's not like that. I swear, it's just…I…they don't know how I feel, or how it's like. Why do I always end up falling for the bad guy? _

I squished my eyes together. I looked at the clock in my night stand. It was twelve sharp. A second later I felt the light knock on my window. There he was. I liked to take this things as signals that he needed me too. And that maybe he just was avoiding his feelings. I debated inside, if I should open the window or no. If I should let him in or no.

"Bella, I'm freezing. Open up, please."

I had heard the rumors in school at the morning. That Edward was dating Jessica. He hadn't say anything. Apparently Edward and Jessica were one of those off/on couples, and he hadn't told me. But he didn't own me anything, I mean I wasn't his girlfriend, right? Oh god, I felt the jealousy spreading around my body. And another light knock interrupted my thoughts

"Are you asleep? Bella open up, c'mon."

Oh god. I need to do something. God I can't be weak. And since when I'm so insecure? I felt shivers down and up my spine. I was confused and needy and messed up and it was all Edward's fault. UGH.

"Bella, are you mad at me?"

I didn't answer. If I did, I would give up and open the window.

"Bella c'mon. I need to.." he paused for a moment "Okay never mind."

God. I let go of my pillow and turned around. Rosalie and Alice were right, and I was going to accept it. With time I'll thank them…right?...right? Oh shit.

"Edward?"

"Hey, what happened?"

"Sorry, I was…in the bathroom."

"Oh. Well, can I come in?"

"Sure."

So I wasn't sure yet if I was ready to find out if I'll be thankful.

---

"Bella." I felt his lips in my head and his fingers, playing with my hair. "Are you asleep?"

"No."

"Bella I saw you, you were in bed, why didn't you open?"

"I…no reason." I wasn't brave enough to tell him. _Coward_

"Bella, I know there's something up. C'mon, tell me."

"No."

"Bella…"

"Edward…"

"C'mon."

"No." One of his fingers slowly lifted my chin and forced me to look into his eyes

"Tell me." His warm breath was on my face and he leaned closer but I pulled away before he could kiss me.

"No, don't…are you dating Jessica Stanley?"

"What? No. no way I would date her again."

"Are you sure, because…"

"Bella, of course I'm sure of who I'm dating."

"Okay."

"It's that all?"

"Yes." _Liar_

"Are you sure?"

"Edward of course I'm sure of what I think." I mocked him, he smiled

"I think someone was jealous." He said giggling

"I was so not jealous! I was curious!"

"Nu-uh."

"Yeah-uh."

"Whatever you say, Bells." He kissed me and I felt something falling into it's place. God I had become a cheesy-girl "Goodnight."

He whispered something as he kept playing with my hair but I couldn't hear him. I still felt the butterflies fluttering, during all the night.

---

"Coffee?" Rosalie asked as I entered the kitchen

"Please…is it a school day?"

"Nope, we're school-free."

"Oh, good. I need to sleep. Wake me up on Monday."

"What have you been doing this nights. You look so tired."

"Nothing, anything, at all."

"Bella…"

"God, you're just like Edward but with a skirt."

"Hey, don't insult me."

"It's not an insult."

"You compared me to Edward Cullen."

"Who says he can't be a good guy? Maybe he's sweet and romantic."

"We're talking about the same guy that when he first saw me he said 'nice dress, is it easy to take off?' right?"

"He made a joke."

"Whatever, Jasper, Emmett and me are going to see a movie. Oh well and Jasper decided to invite Alice because he wants to get laid."

"Rosalie…"

"What? I'm a bitch. At least I admit it. I'm Rosalie-bitch-Hale. Sue me. Anyway do you want to watch?"

"And be a third-wheel between two couples at the same time? No, thanks."

"Well, Edward's kind of going to be here in five minutes so…"

"And you know that, because…?"

"He always crashes our reunions. He's just a little dumb and takes him a while to realize we're having one."

"Well, what movie are you watching?"

"The Notebook, but don't say anything, the boys think we're watching The Lord of the Rings."

"Well…I'm just staying because I love The Notebook."

"Aw, it doesn't have anything to do with Eddy-poo?"

"What? No. Shut up. Ew."

---

"Dude, this isn't the Lord of the Rings."

"Rosalie you so lied to us."

"Shut up, both of you."

"Did he just said I'm a bird?"

"Shut up Emmet."

"Mhm, I like the ice-cream thing, we should totally do that."

"We already did that, and we were all sticky."

"EW! Emmet, Rosalie! My virgin ears, there's people here!"

"Okay, Alice and Jasper don't mind. The two of them need to have their mandatory daily hand holding session, be extremely cute and stare into each others sparkling eyes."

"Rosalie…" Jasper grunted

"What? It's true!"

Jasper squished Alice hand and she smiled, someone knocked on the door.

"Edward, if that's you, run before they drag you here to see The Notebook."

"Edward if you don't get in here now, you'll never enter this house again, not even when you sneak through Bella's window at night!"

"ROSALIE!" How the hell did she know that?

"Don't worry Bella, we all know, we just didn't say anything because the two of you like to think it's a secret." Alice smiled

"Ugh."

"I'm in. I'm here." He sat down besides me and whispered in my ear "Room in here for me."

"Sure." He snuggled in the small couch besides me and cover himself with part of the blanket

"Edward you're under the blanket and we can't see where you're hands are, but God can, so keep them to yourself." Rosalie said

"Rose, watch the movie would you?" he answered. I felt his arm surrounding my waist and pulling me closer. I smiled.

_I like him too much. **It won't last** _


	9. Pity

**Beautiful Disaster**

_A/N: Sorry, I haven't update in a while I just have been dealing with some things. Thanks for all the support and the amazing super awesome reviews, you're made of win. Anyway I promise the next chapter will be in Edward's POV and it will be SUPER long but I have to write this one in Rosalie's. Anyway hope you enjoy. Reviews are pure true love always! _

**RPOV **

_When you wake up in the morning, there's a list of things you know you have to do. Get dressed, brush your teeth, brush your hair. Things you do every single day, of course there can be some inconvenient like you ran out of tooth paste or you don't have clean clothes. I wish that was the inconvenient I'm talking about. I won't tell anyone because we don't have any family here, and I don't want people to give me their pity face and look at me like I'm a fucking stupid. I don't need Emmet to ran in here and hug me and tell me that's it's going to be all right. Because it's not. _

_I fix things. I fix cars and I enjoy solving the mystery, it's like a puzzle. But I can't fix this, there's no way I can't fix this situation. And that's why I won't tell anyone. _

**_The Day Before _**

"Rosalie we need to go to the supermarket, there's nothing here." My small cousin said pointing at the fridge

"Blame Edward, he ate it when we were watching the movie."

"Why do you hate Edward so much?" _God wasn't it obvious? _

"I know what Edward does Bella, and I don't want you to get involved with him because he'd hurt you."

"Well it's a little late for that."

"Oh my God. Isabella Marie Swan did you sleep with him?"

"No. no of course not! It's just, I really like him Rose. And I would appreciate that you would support me in this. I don't know what I'm doing and I could really use a friend." She smiled

"Aw, Bells." I hugged her. Ugh I was so killing Edward "We'll go to the supermarket, okay? I'm just going to ask Alice to give me some money she owns me."

"Okay, I'll watch some tv."

---

"EDWARD OPEN THE FREAKING DOOR! ESME TOLD ME YOU WERE IN THERE."

"Geez, Rosalie, chill and I'll open."

"Okay, but I'm going to kick your sorry ass."

"That's not 'chilling', what do you want?"

"Open the door! I don't want to talk to a piece of wood!"

"Okay…" he opened it slowly and backed away "Come in, don't hit me."

"I'm not hitting you, God you're obsessed. Okay sit on the bed."

"What? Sorry Rosalie but you're chance has come and gone." He chuckled

"What? Ew. Just sit I want to talk to you." I said as I closed the door. "Look…Edward, Bella really really likes you, okay?"

"Aren't you breaking the girl-code?"

"What, girl-code? Where you watching Mean Girls?"

"No. Maybe."

"You're so gay. Anyway I was saying, I don't want you to hurt her, I won't tell you to stay away from her but if she's just another game for you just back off, because she's awesome and sensitive and she could have any guy in this town, but for some reason she choose you."

"Meaning?"

"She likes you a LOT Edward, and well I think you should treat her right. And good. And…okay."

"Rosalie you can leave now, okay?"

"You promise you won't hurt her?"

"Scouts honor."

"You're not a scout."

"Okay, leave."

"Going."

---

"So Bells, macaroni and cheese?"

"Is food of the gods dude."

"Whatever you say, so anyway…"

"Could you please look at the road?"

"Okay. Only if you promise one thing."

"What? And if it's about Edward don't even think about it."

"I ugh…why is so completely irresistible about him?"

"His… crooked smile and his eyes and his just…ugh, he's Edward Cullen."

"Like that was something good."

"Whatever Rosalie just mind your own business."

"HEY, I'm your cousin and your best friend."

"Yes but you can't just accept that I grew up! I did! You don't have to watch out for me anymore."

"Whatever Bella."

"And you're the same age as me."

"But I'm not dating Forks biggest player! Okay Bella? Edward's a freaking heartbreaker and believe me, he will break yours."

"You're just upset because for the first time I have something really good and you have to settle with number two."

"Are you calling Emmet number two?"

"Yes."

"Take it back, Bella." I felt my blood rushing everywhere and I turn my eyes to Bella. "Take that shit back now." She didn't answer.

"ROSALIE! WATCH OUT!"

The last thing I saw was a flashing light.

---

_So two hours later when I woke up on the road, covered in my cousins head blood, and even after I called the hospital I couldn't call anyone else. Even after they told me Bella was in a coma. Even after they told me she may not wake up. Never. _

_I just can't take the guilt. The pity. I can't have anyone else judging me. _

_I just can't. _


	10. Mine

**Beautiful Disaster**

_A/N: Okay I'm going to make a few things clear before I continue with this story because I write for FUN. I have to take crap from everyone around me, I do this because I LIKE people liking what I write, okay? Most of your reviews are awesome, and they help me SO much, especially when you point out the things I can do to make the story better and more easy to understand. You can tell me that I have mistakes but you can tell me NICELY, okay? I don't need your crap.. _

_ I hadn't say this before, BUT I DON'T TAKE FLAMES, OKAY? If you don't like what I write I'm not forcing you to read it so no. Anyway I like things when they're said nicely to me. If you keep on going I'll just keep on ignoring you and eventually will stop posting. Okay then. _

_Sorry if that was aggressive or offensive at all, but I just write for fun, I started writing because I wanted to have fun, not to take more crap from people. Btw this chapter is in Edward's POV it takes from chap number seven until the last one but on Edward's eyes. _

_IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, THEY DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL. _

_Yes I am a bitch, people. _

**EPOV **

_Is Jessica hitting on me **again **?God that's so disgusting. Alice should just make up with Rosalie and stop making me spend time with this, girls that only think about dating. Ugh they can't shut up about shopping, even Alice's bored. Bella never talks about shopping, or about clothes, she doesn't even talk about diets or anything. She's blushing, she's so beautiful when she blushes. Okay so I've accepted it, in my mind at least. I have a thing for Bella. I won't admit though. No way. Did she just wink? Ugh I'm leaving. _

"Alice I'm going to class."

"Great! I'll go with you."

"No, please…" she stared at me pleading "I have to go the bathroom first, stay here and I'll see you in class."

"Edward…"

"You SO have to stay Alice…" Jessica started bantering and I spotted Bella leaving the cafeteria "What's the name of your perfume? It's so pretty and…"

I stepped out the cafeteria and I found Bella leaning against a wall, covering her face with her hands, she sighed out in frustration. I smiled. She was adorable.

"Bells?"

"Ugh. Go Away please?"

"I won't." I sat down besides her "What's up?"

"Nothing, the usual. I'm fucked up."

"Bella. You're not. You're awesome, you're like the coolest girl I've ever met."

"Really?" she smiled "Thank you…"

"I need to get to class. And of course, you've got me under your spell…" I leaned down and kissed her softly "I'll see you later."

"Yeah…"

I got up and slowly started walking away when I felt something grabbing my hand, I thought it was Alice, when I turned around I saw Lauren.

"Um."

"Eddie! I wanted to talk to you…"

_Kill me now, please. _

---

"Edward, what are you thinking about?" Alice's pixie voice interrupted my thoughts.

_I stared out my living room window. Bella's light had been off the whole night. Her window was closed, did that mean that she didn't want me to go? That girl had turned me into a little girl too. God where did all this insecurity come from? I couldn't stand it, She was driving me insane, I couldn't get her off of my mind. She was just…addicting, and it was driving crazy that I couldn't tell anyone. I couldn't because I was a player. I couldn't ruin my reputation. Of course it was a little hard to remember that when I stared into Bella's eyes. Or when she kissed me and her scent lingered on me for a while. For a lot of time. _

"Nothing."

"Bella's window is closed."

"I know Alice, thanks."

"Okay, I'm going to sleep, but Rose invited over to watch the notebook on Saturday, are you coming?"

"But, of course Alice."

---

_So after Saturday, which was great by the way, not the movie but Bella, I had a small talk with Rosalie yesterday. God was my mind like a diary? Ugh. Anyway Mom and Dad were so weird in dinner today, they didn't talk at all. Only Alice did. And Rosalie and Bella have been skipping school since Monday and I'm pretty sure there's no one in their house , so there's something kind of weird going on. So I decided to eavesdrops on my parents. _

"It's terrible, Carlise I can't believe it."

"Rosalie asked me not to tell anyone, so you can't say this to the kids."

"I know, I just can't believe it. It was just an accident?"

"Yes…it's a tragedy, she's so young."

"I know…I just can't believe that she was sitting right there in our living room the other night…and now…"

"I know…"

"Is Rosalie going to be okay?"

"She's pretty depressed. Seemed that they had a fight before the crash, she hasn't told anyone yet."

"Is she skipping school?"

"Yeah but I called today, explained the situation."

"What did they say?"

"That they excused her until she was in better shape, Rosalie's not eating either."

"Maybe I should visit her."

"No. She needs some time to deal with the situation."

---

_I couldn't help myself. I had to find out what was happening so after everyone was asleep I drove myself to the hospital. That old nurse was sitting on the reception, she was the one who babysit me and Alice when our dad had to do shifts and mom was working. She smiled when she saw me enter the room, but then when she realized about how late it was, she panicked. _

"Is there something wrong Edward?"

"Nothing, just tell me…Is there a patient by the name Hale, in here?"

"You know I can't tell you that Edward."

"C'mon Angela…" I tried to give her my best smirk

"Okay…" she leaned forward and whispered "There's a Hale girl in room 3459 she's with her cousin, her name is …" the phone rang and she picked up, I took my chance and walked away to the room

And there it was room 3459. The door was shut, the numbers were written in golden in the white wood. I slowly opened the door and saw Rosalie sleeping in the couch that was in a corner of the room. She was snoring. I smiled. And as I turned my eyes, I wish I didn't, I saw her beautiful face, covered by machines.

She seemed so harmless, her brown eyes were closed. I felt my heart drop.

Bella. _ My _Bella was in a coma


	11. Stay

**Beautiful Disaster**

_A/N: You people are just made of pure awesomeness! I love you all! You were just so supportive and you sent me Jazz! yay. LOL anywya this chapter may be a lil' deppresive because i wrote it after a really off day so you might get a little down...when you read it. anyway sorry it took me so long! it's just school has been kicking my ass lately and i finally got my break! so yay more action for the lovely readers.Btw this chapter is in a third person POV just not anyone from the fic. Anyway. review and i will love you unconditionally and irrevocably ;)_

He thinks it's wrong. No. He knows it is _wrong_

The wires are all over her body, some are in her chest, and her slow heartbeat is the only sound that fills the cold hospital room. Rosalie likes to pretend that she doesn't know that her heart pounds everytime he talks.

He was there during the whole weekend. Rosalie was there too. He's pretty sure this is the first time that Rosalie Hale hasn't showered in four days. Her t-shirt stills has some dry blood in the border. She constantly runs her fingers through her blonde long hair and sighs out in frustration. She freaked out when she first saw him there. She screamed and shouted during almost an hour. 

He didn't answer a word. Just sat there and held Bella's hand. Her dark hair is falling all over the pillow. But there are some wires in her head too. There was even one in her hand. With a needle. He knows Bella hates needles, so he covers it with the blanket, he doesn't want to cause her any more pain. At night he stays there too. But she doesn't talk in her sleep anymore and he realises how much he misses the low sound of her voice.

Carlise comes by Sunday morning, he says he has to go to school. He blinks, twice and nods. Monday morning he kisses her cold, almost dead-cold, hand and leaves. Rosalie is still sleeping in the couch. 

Alice rambles and asks where the hell he was and that strangely Esme is not mad. She brings up Rosalie and Bella, but Jessica drops it. He can see that Alice won't let it go, in her eyes, she's curious, more than that she's worried. Emmet and Jasper know, he's sure. But they know that Rosalie will break down if they show up. And no one's ready to see Rosalie Lillian Hale break down. She was the strong one after all.

He'll never admit that he heard her cry every single night he was there. 

He goes back when school day is over. He sits in his chair near Bella's bed. Her heart beats a little lower and her hands feel a little colder everyday. He kisses them everyday and holds them, to try to warm them up. Her face is pale and he notices the little scar in her forehead. Rosalie says she fell. He should've known, Bella always falls, he only knows that for the last three months he has been there to catch her.

Sadly not in every way.

When he comes in one morning he kisses her on the lips. Softly. But he misses how bittersweet her breath in his mouth tasted. He grins at the sound of her raced heartbeat but the grin turns into a simple nothing as soon as he remembers why he's there. Rosalie bits her lip and says she's leaving for half an hour to get clothes and a shower.

He knows she won't be back for at least two hours, because she needs to be alone and accept that her cousin is in a coma. Maybe she'll call her parents finally. He doesn't want her to thought. Because they'll come and take Bella away. And he doesn't recognize the unbereable loneliness that fills his chest when he thinks about it.

Because even if he only knows what her favourite color is he can't imagine falling asleep before kissing her red lips and seeing her blush creep slowly up her cheeks, or how she bits her lips when she's nervous or asks him to go away when she wants him to stay. 

Of course he would never admit noticing this things after Bella wakes up.

Because she has to wake up. He needs her to wake up.

An hour later Rosalie enters the room, her eyes are swollen and he knows she has been crying but she doesn't mention it. Alice walks behind her. Alice must have heard her, she looks at him with a mixture of anger and pity in her eyes. That eventually turn into pity.

He's sure that his eyes are full of pain, but he can take them off of Bella for more than a brief second so he turns around. And there she's, helpless. And somehow when he looks at her he feels like he's the one who's altered and that he can't fix it.

He wants to see her beautiful brown eyes, that haunt him when he manages to fall asleep. Always holding her hand.

Because if he has to admit even if he has to admit it out loud that he can barely imagine life without seeing those brown eyes everyday, even if he lived 17 years without them, if that confession will bring Bella back he would. But he knows it won't.

"She's not going to wake up, is she?" Rosalie whispers one night

He doesn't answer. Hope is all he has left after all.

Because if he had to do something, something he'd never thought he would.

Even if he had to admit that he was falling in love with Isabella Swan. (He knew her middle name was Marie)

He would.

---

'How long has it been since you ate something Edward?' Rosalie asks

"A while." _Two weeks "_I want to be here when she wakes up."

"Go..." she waits "Go it'll take a minute."

He got up. Her heart pounded.

He sat down again.

_"I'm not going anywhere."_


	12. Altered

**Beautiful Disaster**

_A/N: I loove you! You're the best ones of the best ones! Okay so this chapter has some happiness, you'll have to read to find out! It's in Edward's POV, but I'm glad you liked the third person POV I might try it again in this story...maybe. Anyway reviews are sexy love! and everyone needs some that sometimes ;) Love ya!_

**EPOV**

One...Two...Three.

_I know how many times her heart beats in an hour. Her fingers...__**even if she didn't put them that way**...have been tangled in my for the last twelve days. Her hands are cold. And I miss her warmth. Because her hands used to be so warm. Especially when she held mine. Or when she touched my face. It was around nine p.m, Bella has been in this coma for fourteen days and I can't believe how much I miss her. I closed my eyes trying to sleep, and burried my face next to her hand. God what has she done to me? I hate hospitals. I used to go there to help my father, and because I was a kid. After my mother got sick I never wanted to come into a hospital again. See everyone here in Forks thinks Esme is my mother and that Carlise is Alice's father. And that's allright, because they are the one that raised us. But my mother died when I was five and Esme's husband left her after Alice was borned. They met two years after my mother died, got married and moved to Forks. I'm convinced that we keep the only secret in Forks. After I loose my mother and after that I never got attached to anyone because I can't afford to loose another person. And then along came Bella. God I think my head hurts. Something's poking. Um...?_

"Edward..." I heard a raspy whisper pronounce my name with such clarity "Edward..."

I lifted my eyes. I was convinced I was dreaming. But I wasn't, her brownish eyes were too real for a dream. She...

"I'm thristy."

Oh right...water..water...where? Oh. There it was, the glass of water the nurse left everyday in case she woke up. I grabbed it and slowly helped her to drink some water. She closed her eyes and smiled then opened them again. She was worried.

"Rosalie...Where's Rosalie Edward? Did she get hurt? Did she...?"

"She's okay Bella...calm down. She's perfectly fine...She went to your house to take a bath and eat something."

She closed her eyes and her head fell in the pillow, she sighed out, and suddenly tears started falling, running in her cheeks. I immdeatly got up and hugged her...she burried her face into my chest, and her cold hands found mine. She tangled her fingers in mine. I could feel her tears getting my t-shirt wet. "God Edward...I was so scared..." she said as she sobbed, she pulled me closer " I woke up in the middle of the road...and I couldn't feel my legs...and Rosalie was..." she sobbed "she was...unconsicious..." she lifted her eyes, they were full of pain " I thought she was dead...I said terrible things and I..."

"Shhh...Bells..."

Immedeatly she pressed her lips against mine, and I couldn't hold her back. Her sweet lips moved against mind and I had forgotten how sweet she felt, her breath was intoxicating me.

"Edward..." she moaned "Edward..." I felt her fingers tangling in my hair.

"Mhm?"

"I'm glad you're here..." she pressed her lips against mine again.

"BELLA!" Rosalie hysteric voice screamed behind me and I immedeatly pulled apart from her, Rosalie jumped directly to the bed and hugged Bella, she started sobbing immedeatly. "Bella oh Bella I'm so sorry!"

"I'm sorry, for everything I said, I'm just and idiot! I love you Rose."

"I love you too. I'm so happy you're okay."

"Don't cry Rose...God..oh I'm hungry..."

"I'll get the nurse, and the doctor! We gotta get you out of this place!"

"No no. Rose..." Bella muttered, Rosalie turned " I want you to go home, get a good sleep, Edward will stay with me tonight..."

"No Bells I..."

"Go...tomorrow I'm probably going home and you'll have to help me to do everything."

"You didn't broke a leg, girl!"

"Well, But I am in the hospital." Bella giggled "Go Home..."

"Okay...Edward you better take care of her."

"Yes ma'am."

Rosalie left the room quickly and Bella smiled. God I had missed that, she looked at me and moved a little, then pointed the space she had made for me in the bed, beside her. I walked slowly towards her and lied down. Grabbed her hand and tangled her fingers in mine.

"I have a neddle!" she exclaimed, all the colour was erased from her face.

"You look like you've seen a dead person Bella."

"Oh my god, Edward take it away!" she covered her eyes, I grabbed her hand and cover it with the blanket

"Better?"

"It stills hurts."

"Well at least you don't have to see it."

"Thank you...Hold me?"

"Of course."

A minute passed.

"Bella..."

"Mhm..."

"Why did you and Rosalie fight about?" Her eyes shot open

"Stupid stuff."

"Bella."

"It was about you...actually it was about me, ignoring my cousin good intentions and saying hurtful things."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"She told me you would end up breaking my heart..." I held her tighter towards me "And I freaked out and told her I was sick of her talking about you all day long...and that she didn't have to watch out for me anymore...and then..." she sighed "I told her she was jealous because for the first time she had to settle with second best. And she told me to take it back and then...we crashed against something...when I came back the car had fell into the woods and Rosalie had passed out, and I...I...couldn't feel my legs..." a sob came out and I gently kissed her forehead "It was so horrible...I thought Rosalie was dead, I was delirious because of all the blood I had loose and when I noticed the huge spot of blood in my shirt was my own, I got even more scared...I tried to stay away, Rosalie had landed out of the car and she was safe...no blood pools around her...I was waiting..."

She paused for a minute and took a deep breath.

"I was waiting for her to wake up...because I know that you shuoldn't fall asleep when you're loosing blood. But I was trapped...I couldn't move my arms to stop the bleeding and I couldn't crawl out of the car...I waited two hours...or two minutes...but it felt forever...Rosalie didn't wake up and every second that passed by I was more convinced she was dead. I was crying, my vision was blurry, it was dark, in the middle of the woods, and I couldn't feel my legs...my cellphone was crashed and Rosalie's was too far for me to reach it...of course I was going to die..."

I held her tighter. I couldn't believe she was strong enough to smile even after all she had been through.

"And still...all..." she sighed out "You're going to think I'm a phsyco..."

"I would never think that, Bella."

"All I could see was your face...the last minutes I was awake...I heard your voice...singing that song you always sing when you think I'm asleep. I thought my cousin was dead and that I was going to die, and I was so scared. So terrified but the thought of you, of seeing you before I die...it calmed me somehow."..."I'm such a physco."

"You're not."

I leaned down and kissed her, and for a moment the only noise in the room was her crazy heartbeat and her shallow breathing. Because I'm pretty sure I wasn't breathing. I can't describe my happiness in that moment. Bella was altered. She was messy and confused and what made me happy was that she had the exact same feelings for me that I had for her. No matter how much people who loved us and that had been with us during our entire lives tell us to stay away from each other, for different reasons of course, we can't help it. She was completly altered as me, for someone we had met three months ago.

"Edward..." she whispered breathless.

"Yes?"

"Wait...what is this?"

"It's called kissing." I chuckled

"No, silly. I mean...what is this what we have..."

"Well...what do you want it to be?"

"I..." her eyes drifted away from my face...she seemed to be looking for something to stare at..."I think we..."

"Yes?"

"I think we should try non-exclusive dating?"

"Excuse me?"

"I mean we are with each other but we..."

"No, no. I know what, non exclusive dating means..."

"Oh."

I removed myself of her and lied by her side again. She looked at me...and even if it was dark I could see that I had hurted her. But I couldn't say anything. I couldn't believe that after giving me illusions that she might have the same feelings she said something like that. See it's not the fact that she doesn't mind me with someone else, it's the fact that she might want someone else. _Someone better. _Because deep down I knew Bella could do SO much better than me. Everyone did, that was the reason why people told her to stay away. Because even if I knew it, I was too selfish to let her go. I was about to pour my heart out and she says something like that?

"You're mad." she said. It was a statement, not a question.

"No, I just... I didn't think you were the non-exclusive type." _Liar_

"I'm not...I just need to know if you're serious about this..." she pointed herself and then me "...about us...look Edward I know I like you, a lot. And I trust you, but...you have a reputation. And that didn't come out of nowhere. And I can't afford getting hurt, Edward. I just want to make sure...that you can give up being a manwhore. For me."

"Bella..."

"I know. I know. But I just...I need to know that I can still be friends if I see you with another girl because...I really like being your friend."

"And when were we friends, Bella?"

"Well...there was that time..." I smiled again and pressed my lips against hers "Okay...we weren't."

"That's what I thought."

"You're so annoying..." she laughed

"Shh..there are sick people here, they need to sleep."

"Okay...So we're friends with benefits, kind of, right?"

"Well yes..." I answered and smile

"Well, friends with benefits can do this..." she smiled playfully and placed her hand in my _lower _back "...right?"

"Oh you're evil." she giggled "Mhm...you're going to pay for that."

"Mhm..." she laughed

The dark room was suddenly filled with light, when someone opened the door. We immedeatly stopped kissing and we both turned to see. To my unhapiness my dad was there, looking at us, dissaproving with every single blink he gave. And well, me on top of Bella, as we kissed in bed, doesn't look like something innocent.

"Bella should get some sleep, Edward."

"I promised Rosalie I would stay."

"In the couch...she needs to sleep. Tomorrow we have to do a full control."

"I want him to be here, Carlise." Bella interrupted and smile, the blushing of her cheek was obvious even with the poor light

"Get some sleep." he finally stated and closed the door

"Well that was embarrasing..." she sighed "Okay bed-time."

"Mhm..." I said I burried my face in her hair and placed myself by her side "You smell like freesia."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Okay...Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

"Edward..."

"Yes?"

"Sing for me?"

I sighed, and let my lips pressed against her earlobe.


	13. Stupid

**Beautiful Disaster**

_A/N: SO SORRY I haven't updated in so long but school is SO kicking my ass. I'm sick of it. thanks to the awesome _**Lily Turwaithiel **for being my beta ;) Hope you enjoy‏

The car was silent.

But it was a comfortable silence. None of those  
'our-conversation-got-into-some-subject-I-don'-twant-to-talk-about' silences. Definitely a not 'I've-got-nothing-to-say' silence. It was a silence because we could say  
things without talking, because we were comfortable around each other. And as Edward held my hand in his and drove I smiled because I couldn't help but to  
notice my image in the mirror, I was blushing, and I couldn't erase the stupid grin from my face. I leaned over and started changing the station. I smiled  
again because I remembered our first date, when we played the radio game. I felt his eyes on me, and when I looked back I caught a glimpse of...love in  
his eyes? No. No. No way, the drugs the nurse had given me were probably causing this effect. I sighed out loud. Sometimes I wondered if this  
nonexclusive thing was okay with him.

"Bella could you please stop, changing the radio station?"

"Um?"He smiled. And I noticed I was mirroring his huge grin. I noticed the  
box of cigarettes slipping out of his pocket, I caught it just before it fell,  
he didn't notice.

"Sorry." I smiled. "What's this?" I said pointing at the box in my hand

"Cigarettes, Bells."

"No, I mean what are you doing with these?"

"I smoke. So big deal."

"Your dad's a doctor."

"He doesn't know."

Now the silence was uncomfortable.

"You're mad," he said

"I'm not."

I bit my lip and he stared at me. I smiled.

"Look out for the road please, I just left the hospital and I don't want to  
be back anytime soon." That came out snarkier than I'd like to sound. "Edward..."

"Yes?" his eyes were fixed in the road.

"Um..." I sighed. "Nothing." I felt his warm hand suddenly holding mine. "Remember that stupid radio game we played during our...um…when we went  
out?"

"You can say out first date Bells."

"No. Non exclusive people don't date. We go out."

"Okay...whatever." And he let go of my hand and placed it on the wheel again.  
My cell phone interrupted the sentence my brain was trying to form.

"Bella? Where are you? I've got a surprise for you!" Rosalie's hyper voice  
surprised me.

"We're...we just arrived in fact."

"Well tell Edward to help you! You know you can't walk with that cast! And  
hurry."

"Rosalie if you planned a par..." she hung up and when I closed my phone Edward was already with my door opened, offering his hand. "Thanks, but I can do it  
on my own." He wasn't the only one who could get mad at stupid things.

"Bella, you'll fall."

"Excuse me but what exactly makes you think that?"

"Well you always fall down...and with a cast..."

"I do not." He grinned at me and I felt my knees going weak. Would this  
ever stop? This sick effect of obsession he held over me? "C'mon I'll give  
you a piggyback ride."

"Mhm." He smiled knowing he had won and helped me as I wrapped my arms strongly around his neck. He smelled manly, but now manly as 'I've been working on the car all day long and I haven't washed up' manly, he smelled good. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. He was intoxicating...Edward had become my drug...I was out of control and I could never get enough of him. I leaned a little forward and kissed his cheek...almost his neck. He smiled.  
God, I love it when he smiles. Especially when it reaches his eyes, his eyes  
could probably lighten up a whole room. He was just simply amazing. I think I...

The front door opened and I saw Rosalie standing there, she was smiling widely and she waved at me, when Edward entered the house. There standing in  
the middle of Rosalie's very humble living room, was my father and my mother, in all of their glory. I could feel that my eyes shot open and that for some reason my hands held tighter on Edward, almost chocking him.

"Bella! Oh, Bella sweetie." My mom came towards me, she was already starting  
to  
sob. Edward helped me to get on the ground quickly to receive my maternal hug. "I was so worried honey. Rosalie called us just yesterday." I  
tried to give Rosalie the most cynical look I could when my mom wasn't watching. Charlie just came up near me and hugged me. "And Bella...aren't  
you going to introduce us to your friend?" I felt the blush creeping up my cheeks after those words had left my mom's mouth.

"Edward Cullen..." he smiled cordially "...a pleasure. Anyway I should be  
leaving...my mom is probably waiting for me for dinner..."

"Oh of course." my mom smiled, my dad still emotionless

"So..." In an unexpected movement, Edward leaned down, captured my face between his strong hands and kissed me hard. His lips moved hardly against mine and I felt my knees going week and like the room was starting to spin. I didn't realize if everyone had stopped talking or that it was just me not hearing anything. I opened my eyes, breathless, and I noticed he was gone.

"Well...that was something." My mom stated

_Oh that was DEFINITLY something._

--

How could they do this to me?

I had gone straight to bed after dinner. Not only do my parents show up out of nowhere and pretend to be extremely worried about the accident and my life  
even if they haven't called in months; but they come here and tell me I'm moving back with them. Rosalie almost spit her food all over my mom, and how would  
I be any extra work for Rosalie? My mom and dad work all day long so they won't have time to take care of me and I'll just be the stupid girl who has a  
cast. Edward could take care of me...of course after the little show of shoving his tongue down my throat in front of my parents; well...he didn't seem very trustworthy. And for some reason my window was still open. I couldn't close it.

"Bella." Edward's soft voice interrupted my thoughts. He leaned down and lied beside me. "Do I have to go?"

"I locked the door." I answered quickly. He immediately leaned down to kiss me. "Ah ah, mister I'm mad at you."

"They're taking you away." he whispered, his lips on my earlobe.

"You were..." I felt dizzy and my breathing was erratic. "…spying on us?"

"They want to take you..." His lips ran down my neck. "away from me..."

"Edward..." I whispered. It came out like a moan.

"Bella they can't..." I couldn't tell why his breath wasn't erratic. "…I don't want you to."

"I..."

"Stay."

It was just a word and it shouldn't have affected me as much as it did. I crashed my lips into his and tangled my fingers around his hair desperately.  
His lips parted immediately and so did mine. His hands held my face still, but then he let go and wrapped them in my neck, pulling me closer if that was  
possible. There was no room for air between us. It felt just like the first time we kissed. I felt my heart pushing strongly against my ribcage and my  
whole nervous system collapsing as his hands ran up and down my stomach. His scent was all over me, inside me, I couldn't breathe, I just pulled him  
closer by his hair. I was ready to pass out. He broke the kiss smiling and whispered something I didn't quite get because I was focused on catching my breath.

"I'm so tired...I haven't slept in two weeks." I smiled; he had spend two weeks at the hospital with me."Do you mind if I put the radio on or something?"

"No at all." He gave me a small peck on the lips and turned the radio on, then hugged me and closed his eyes.

The radio was a whisper in the cold silence but I still could hear the words the girl sang very clearly. She was talking about a love that wasn't good for  
her, and she knew that, but still she couldn't let go because her love was so big, so huge, that if she did she was afraid she would drown. She  
couldn't let it go because that love was destroying her, but she was sure that if she left it, she would die on her own. And how everyone around her told her not to,  
but still she was blind, she didn't listen, her love was so heartbreakingly strong that if she ever gave up on it, the meaning of everything else in life would be over.

_How stupid could I be  
A simpleton could see  
That you're no good for me  
But you're the only one I see  
_  
And in that exact moment was when it happened. I didn't planed it, it just did. With some random girl's voice in my head, singing my exact feelings and  
Edward's intoxicating breath over me and his arms wrapping me close to him. I realized it. I couldn't let go of him...the words were at the tip of my  
tongue just waiting to slip out any minute. I had been the one holding it back. Hoping he wouldn't notice, trying to convince myself and everyone else around me that my obsession with him was completely normal. That it was just a crush. But I knew better. I had been trying to prevent it and to keep it inside. That was why I had told him about the nonexclusive thing. Because I was scared, I was completely and totally head over heels for him and still that wasn't enough. It didn't seem enough. It was already completely impossible for someone like Edward to be interested in someone like me. And this just made me weaker. It made me more fragile. Like a simple word from him could completely destroy me, and still he didn't know. And he wouldn't. Ever. The signs had been so clear that for a moment I couldn't believe I had been so blind. I should've seen it coming; I should've been ready for this. For the confirmation of my fears. Because the truth was that I had knew it all along.

**_I Isabella Marie Swan was in love with Edward Anthony Cullen._**


	14. Love

**Beautiful Disaster**

_A/N: Okay so I haven't updated in like forever and ever and I'm SO sorry. Feel free to hate me but school is BIG BIG BIG bitch. Fat and ugly and is eating my time. So I hope you can enjoy this chapter and well you guys get really...passionate with the reviews LOL! Thanks for all the awesome feedback :) Srry for the mistakes this chapter is not beta-ed because I needed to update soon because next week is going to be crazy and I'm going to have like zero-time. Review please! __ Reviews are like EB sex, you can't ever ever get enough ;) And please I don't want bitching or flaming about this chapter, okay? I'll get into Edward's brain and emotions in the next chapter and you'll understand better so just don't.  
_

**EPOV**

_My eyes danced around her body hungrily. She was delicious. Her half naked form had opened the window when I knocked and I hadn't complained when she pulled me into a passionate kiss against the wall wearing nothing but her pijama pants and her bra, she seemed confident about what she was doing and that made her look incredibly sexy. But I didn't want to push her, I knew something was up because she wasn't usually daring like this, it was me who started the make out sessions in our relationship and most of the time I was the one loosing the shirt. Her thin lips twichted into a wicked grin and she leaned closer burring her face in my neck, inhaling. Her velvety voice whispering things, I wasn't sure if she was saying something sweet or cursing. Finally her hands got rid of my shirt and quickly unclasping her bra she pressed her naked chest against mine, kissing me hard. _

_"Mhm...Edward." She whispered her face was in pure ectasy "Edward..." but the sounds seem to turn more real, more clear everytime. My eyes shot open_

And I found a very dressed Bella, sleeping besides me. Her leg was in the middle of mine, her hair all over my chest, her hand in my hip, she was breathing calmly and I thanked God for her not noticing my completly inmmature sex dream. I ran one of my hands through her hair and to calm down a little bit, my mind played over the talked we had before she fell asleep. My angel was leaving town. Her parents had told her so at least and they seemed to be really firm about it. She had cried during almost two hours, I hated when she cried, she seemed so helpless, so broken. I held her in my arms and I had stayed over rocking her to sleep and singing some lullaby my mom used to sing to me. One of her hands were on my hair, her fingers tangled there tightly. The last thing I noticed before my eyes closed.

--

The small knock on Bella's door woke me up at eight a.m on a Saturday morning. I opened my eyes and noticed that my love was still asleep by my side, her position was exactly the same at last night. Rosalie's voice interrupted my moment of contempletation of Bella. I sighed out in frustration and slowly got out of bed and got to the door. When I opened I found Rosalie's horrorized face.

"You're lucky her parents just left." she said angrily putting her hand on my chest and pushing me away. "Bella, wake up!" Bella jumped at her cousin soprano voice

As soon as she opened her eyes she jumped out of bed, into my arms and kissed me and wrapped her arms around my neck making me, because of the difference of height, lift her as soon as I did her tounge tracing my bottom lip, as soon as it entered my mouth she let a moan out, our little show obviously recieved a couple of 'ews' from Rosalie, followed by a "Enough PDA! Come to the kitchen when you finish, and don't you dare to have sex while I'm here." and with that she left.

Bella laughed "Sorry for the morning breath, Eddy-poo."

"It's okay." I laughed again and lifted her up bridal-style "Now, shall we?" I asked as I started moving out of the room

"Yes my knight in shinning armor." she said laughing as we walked into the small kitchen, a soft knock in the door made Rosalie leave "Okay enough, put me down." I slowly left her in a chair and she immedeatly complained "I'm not breakable, Edward."

"Yes you are, baby." I pressed my lips slightly against hers but she didn't want just a peck, her hungry lips moved harshly against mine and her fingers immedeatly reached for my hair, her whole body leaned into mine, and she was suddenly straddling me, her arms pushing me closer to her, as if we weren't close enough. She moaned, and I noticed that my pants were getting somewhat...tighter in some places. And then...the perfect timing for Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper to walk into the kitchen to interrupt us.

"Gosh, just have sex and get over it." Rosalie said angirly as Emmett laughed. I sighed out in frustration as Bella moved to her chair, her cheeks were red and she sheeply started eating her cereal, quietly. I grinned at her shyness, she looked so sexy with her messy her and the soft grin playing in her thin, swollen lips. I loved her shyness, her big brown eyes sneaked up to look at me. She smiled I mirrored. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever layed eyes on.

--

"You are so in love with her, man."

I lifted my eyes, to the blonde guy that was sitting in front of me, he seemed to be very concentrated in his magazine, almost like he didn't care, he didn't know the importance of the words that he was saying. His lips twichted in a smile as he saw the question that was coming.

"Excuse me?" I lifted my eyebrow questioning his sanity

"You're in love with her, Edward." he said like he was talking to a retarded "It's called love, the weird feeling I mean."

"Erm..Thank you? But you don't know how I feel man." he dropped his magazine and stared at me

"And what do you feel?"

"What are you my shrink?" I prayed for Bella to hurry with her 'dressing-up'

"No. I just noticed the way you look at her. And believe that doesn't look like nothing."

I sighed out in frustration, I wanted to slap that stupid grin off of his face but I decided to take another road "Hey Jasper, how did it go with my sister?"

"That was low Cullen, even for you."

"Even for me?"

"Whatever, just be careful."

"Edward..." Bella came walking down the hallway giggling "Ready to go?" Jasper got up and left the room

"Sure thing, beautiful." she tangled my fingers with hers and leaned close to me.

"I'm going to miss you so much." her lips covered mine for a second

"You're not going anywhere, Bella."

"Yeah. Sure"

--

The music was giving the car a calm enviroment. The calm before the storm it seemed. Bella had her arms folded against her chest and her eyes were focused in the view, which it wasn't very great, that made them drift to the radio, she peeked at me. If looks could kill...

"Okay, Bella tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing." Her voice was sharp. It was...angry.

"Okay, don't bark at me, I'm just asking." she sighed and unfolded her arms.

"Look...I don't know what's the pont of you asking me to stay, okay? You don't care about me Edward, you just want me because I am the flavour of the week. I'm the new girl that every boys wants because she's something new and you got me to feed your ego, when you're done with me you'll move on. And yes, I've been an idiot thinking that maybe I could change you...that maybe you would like me and that you would give up your manwhorism for me. That you would stop giving the girls those little nods, that you do and that you would...just..." she ran her long fingers through her hair "This relationship is so frustrating Edward..." a tear ran down her face and I tried to catch it but she moved her face "You just want to have me, so no one else can..."

"Bella, that's what you think? That I don't care?" I moved the wheel, we were into the parking lot of school, her hand grabbed the handle and opened the door.

"Edward..." she closed her eyes for a minute, trying to calm down "I love you...I don't want to freak you out, and I know this seems rushed and stupid but I just can't stop myself from feeling this way about you. And unless you can tell me and assure me that you feel the same way about me, then don't ask me to stay, don't ask me to stay if you think you might go back on your words, don't lie to me."

I was stunned, I could not answer her question or think about anything else in the exact moment, her big brown eyes were painfully staring back at me, expectangly, they were starting to fill with tears, she sighed out in frustration and laughed, bitterly. The words were there, there were so many things I wanted to say to her but I couldn't I was stuck.

"That's what I thought."

She got out of the car and walked away. She just left me there.

_I love you too, Bella._

‏


	15. Nothing

**Beautiful Disaster**

_A/N: Updating quickly because I'm I loved all the reviews I got. Thank you so much! 3 I hope you can drop me one with this chapter. It's really short but I hope you like it. I love you guys :) Reviews are like Eddie Cullen, you can never have enough ;) _

**BPOV**

Tack. Tack. Tack

I could hear the constant sound of the knife hitting the wood that was coming from the kitchen. I could catch small glimpses of Rosalie's golden hair as she moved dancing inside the small room. She was probably chopping something, trying to make a 'decent' meal for me, she said I was getting to skinny. My eyes drifted away of her figure that was still dancing with the music that the headphones were slamming into her years and went back to the T.V. Alice was sitting beside me, crying her eyes out apparently, because some boy had just confessed his eternal love to some girl. He had said he would love her until the day he died, the thing was...he was inmmortal. I reached for the remote and turned it off. I closed my eyes and when I opened I found a very pissed off Alice staring at me. Her reddish eyes because of the crying made her look scary. She bit her lip, and tried to reach the remote, that I had carefully placed under my back. She looked away and then looked back at me.

"I was watching that. Why did you turn it off?"

I closed my eyes and leaned back trying to focuse really hard in my words. Rosalie and Alice were convinced I was falling into a deep deppression and I had to be careful around them. I tried to choose my words carefully and when I opened my eyes Alice was still staring at me, I knew I could answer what I was really thinking, that such crap as true love didn't exist, that men were shameless idiots and that when you openly confessed your feelings to them, they just hurted you in the worst way they could. But that sounded like the answer of a maniac deppressed bitter bitch, so I just choose the simple way out.

"Her voice was really annoying."

Alice rolled her eyes and looked at me again. It seemed she was looking for something inside my eyes. I closed them quickly. She was a very intituive person and if she or Rosalie found out what the reckless idiot had done, well I he wouldn't live to tell the story. God why the hell did I still care about him? Oh right. Because I loved him, I ran my fingers through my hair frustrated. I felt one hand holding my own. My eyes shot open and I saw Rosalie standing beside me. She seemed concerned. Her blue eyes were full of pain. I hated to make everyone around me feel miserable. It made me feel so selfish.

"Bella, are you going to tell us what Edward did? Your window has been closed for three days now." Rosalie said as she sat down besides me.

"And he has been acting really weird. He doesn't talk to anyone and all he does, it's stare at you during lunch...it's really creepy. He just stares..." Alice concluded

"So? Maybe I finally listened to you guys, and decided to stay away from him, because I want you. Just be happy! You won!" I sighed out in frustration, I felt the tears slowly starting to form.

"Bella, honey." Alice's hand reached for mine "We can't be happy because you're in pain and we want to know why. So please trust us. Bella I've seen Edward swallow the pain during his whole life. He never tells me what's going on and he just keeps it for himself, he doesn't talk to anyone. And he thinks that girls, and partying and being popular will cover all that pain that he has because of everything that happened with his mother and it doesn't Bella. If you don't reach out for someone you're going to drive youself crazy at some point." Alice finally took a breath and I didn't realize the tears were already falling from my eyes, running down my cheeks.

I covered my face with my hands and I felt Rosalie's thin arms wrapped around me. I was shaking. Alice's was singing something in a really low voice. I moved my hands away and I saw her staring at me, hinding behind her long eyelashes. She kissed my forehead and hugged me, she kind of remind me of my mother, so protective. And then she leaned back, expecting me to go on, to say something.

"I told him..." my eyes roamed around the room anxiously "I said...I told him how I felt about him..." I saw Rosalie covering her face with her hands and whispering something like 'Oh no' or something like that "I said...'I love you' and he didn't say anything...not a word. He didn't even say I don't. He just sat there and looked at me..." I felt the pain of his silence all over again, I wasn't sure my heart could afford to feel that all over again. I hadn't sleep in three days just trying to make up a reason why he would do that. I was expecting for him to come to my window, to just answer something, anything. He hadn't. Edward had turned out to be everything Rosalie said he would. A liar and a playboy. And he ended up doing exactly what she said he would.

"Oh Bella, honey I'm so sorry..." Alice pushed me into a hug as she started singing again, scared that I would start crying. Rosalie just sat in the couch that was in front of mine and sighed out in frustration. Alice let me go fo her tight embrace. I smiled weakly at her and she smiled back.

"Bella, I'm taking you home tomorrow." Rosalie stated as she walked out of the room. I knew what she meant by 'home'. She meant Phoenix, but I didn't feel strong enough to fight her, so I just nodded. I just needed to do one small thing before I left.

--

I waited for Alice and Rosalie to fall asleep. I could hear them moving and talking in the living room. I didn't want to hear, mostly because I knew they were probably piting me, and I hated that. When they finally turned the light off and the footsteps stopped, I silently opened my window and jumped out. Obviously I fell down and my jean got dirty immedeatly. I had to get rid of that when I came back. I got up and started walking towards the Cullen house. I saw Edward's window, the light was off, the window pretty far from the ground. Damn it. And just when I was about to get started with my animal sounds I saw his Volvo, it was a cloud of smoke, and a soft music seemed to be coming from it breaking the peaceful silence of the night. I walked up to the car and slowly opened the door...the cloud of smoke came out quickly and I got into the car just as quickly, it was really cold outside.

I closed the door quickly and his eyes shot open, he turned his head and stared at me for a minute, before turning the music down. He looked concerned. He rolled the window down and threw the ciggarrette out. He then turned to look at me again, grabbed my arm and examined it, slowly.

"Does this hurt?"

I frowned only to notice that because of the falling, I had scratched my arm, and now a thin drop of blood was running down my skin. His long, pale finger catchted it and quickly tried to clean the dirt from my arm.

"It's going to get infected..." he whispered, I took my arm from his hand

"Whatever Edward...I'm not here to talk about my arm! And if we're going to be random why the hell are you smoking?" I grabbed the package of ciggarretes and rolled down the window quickly.

"Bella...don't you dare..." and I threw them out the window, as far as I could, then I rolled it up quickly.

"I'm leaving tomorrow, Edward." I said, trying to sound calm " And I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to say something to me? Like 'I'll miss you' or 'You were nice' or something? Because I sure have a couple of things to say to you!" I felt my voice breaking at some point.

"Bella look about the other day, listen..."

"No! Edward you listen! You turned out to be EXACTLY what everyone said you would be! You ended up doing EXACTLY what everyone said you would! I believed in you, I stood up for you in front of Rosalie and in front of my friends and you PROMISE ME you wouldn't let me down. Maybe what we had was just messing around for you...but it meant a LOT for me Edward...I warned you...I gave you every sign that I was falling for you...and you knew you weren't and still you didn't walk away until the damage was done. Why do you have to be so selfish, huh?" I breathed and threw my head back as I closed my eyes. "You know what? Don't answer that. Just..." I opened the door and slammed it quickly, running back to the house.

I could feel the tears forming again in my eyes. I could feel the scratch in my arm starting to bleed again. My body was shaking again because of the cold and the shock of being so honest about my feelings all of a sudden. I reached my window and clumsly climbed and got to my room. It took me until I had locked myself in the bathroom and was under the hot water of the shower to realize that I was crying again. And I was so dissapointed of myself because I was crying over him. But in some sick, twisted way I craved for this, I longed for this, because when I tried to remembered my life before he came along, the 17 years before him, I almost felt a blur. Before him I felt nothing.

_**Absloutely Nothing.**_

‏


	16. You

**Beautiful Disaster**

_A/N: Sorry! Sorry. Sorry!! I beg you to forgive me for not updaiting. As a reward because you're amazing readers I wrote a longer chapter and with a lot of goodness! Please drop a review, at least a short one. Oh and anotehr thing if it's not too much to ask, check out my new fic! It's called **Turpentine **and it's EdwardxBella too! I love you all and thank you so much! I'm sorry again, I hope I can update soon. _

**BPOV**

The coldness of the morning hitted me like an electric shock on my bones. I pulled my jacket tigther as I watched my breath float in the form of a cloud in front of me. My eyes moved quickly around the car, just to catch a glimpse of my blonde cousin, who was fighting with my luggage, she seemed very focused on her task, until of course I interrupted her, she twichted her lips and turned around to face me.

"Yes, Bella? What is it that you've been dying to say?" her voice was somehow...sarcastic?

"Can we sleep like two more hours?" I begged, as I yawned, Rosalie gave me a sour look, and her blood immedeatly run to her face. "Okay, okay I'll wait in the car. Don't freal out on me."

"I'm going to get the rest of your stuff. Don't fall asleep!"

Her long athletic legs dissapear behind the cloud of dirt she was leaving behind her, I opened the door quickly and sat down in the passenger seat, not falling asleep? Please, nobody wakes up at six in the morning on a saturday. I leaned my head back and tried to remember what was like to live with my parents, what it would be like. I didn't notice that the car was moving after five or ten minutes. My eyes shot open...shouldn't we wait for Alice? But when I looked at the driver's seat I didn't see my cousin, I saw Alice instead. I frowned but then I realized how fast she was driving, the trees that were aside of the road seemed like blurry green clouds.

"ALICE WHAT THE HELL! SLOW DOWN FOR CHIRST SAKES!" Five seconds later my cellphone was ringing, Alice rolled her eyes."Focuse, Alice, please." she sighed out again and I took a deep breath before answering that was when I smelled it...the fragance of his perfume, I looked around the car and my eyes found him in a minute. He was in the backseat, he looked confused, like he had just woken up. I bit my lip to avoid the sob that was fighting to come out, the phone still vibraiting on my hand, I snapped it open quickly and turned around. Naturally it was Rose.

"Bella WHAT THE HELL? TURN AROUND NOW!" Great. Besides being kidnapped by a pixie and the moron I was in love with, now I was deaf. I sighed, but the cascade of yelling continued "Bella do you hear me?"

"Rosalie, it's IMPOSSIBLE for me not to hear you. And no I cannot turn around because I'm not driving, Alice is. Apparently kindapping is amusing for her..." I sighed out and got ready to continue when Alice's small hand grabbed the phone and closed it. A criptic chuckle scaped her lips. The car stopped.

"Okay, we are here." I looked around, we were still in the middle of the freaking road and there were just trees around us. I arched my eyebrow and she giggled. "We are here for you two to talk." she folded her arms in front of her chest slowly and grinned. A few minutes passed by. "Well talk you morons!"

"Alice that's kind of hard while you're still here." Edward's voice surprised me, it was raspy and so like him. "Could you go out for a few minutes?"

"Like hell I will! I'll froze to death." Edward gave her a sour glare "Okay whatever, I will come back when I get cold anyway." she opened the door and walked out of the car gracefully. After that, silence came again.

"Bella..." I bit my lip trying to get rid of my increasing frustration, it was the first time he talked to me in weeks. "Bella, look at me." his cold finger lifted my chin and made me realize somehow he had moved to the driver seat, I couldn't help it, as soon as I looked into his eyes my will went away. I couldn't stay away from him. I'd do anything for him and he knew it. "Bella you're shaking."

"I know." my voice came out shaky...like a shaky whisper "Edward I...uuh...you." I closed my eyes and smiled as my own stupidity. I was blaiming him for not saying the words I was struggling to say. "I..." his hand covered my shaky lips

"Don't worry Isabella..." I was sure that was the first time he had say my full name. "I..._uhh_...you too." He looked at me deeply and I wondered if it should be that easy. If he could just say three little words to me and everything would be okay. But I was sure the answer was written all over my face. Yes. _YES. **Yes**_. Of course it was that easy. I would do anything for him and he knew it. Of course he did...you didn't have to be Einstein to figure it out. His fingers ran down my cheek and when they reached my neck he slowly cupped it, pulling me closer. His breath was all over my face and it was making me dizzy. My hands reached for him, and he slowly leaned closer, and then his lips pressed against mine. And I completly lost it.

I pulled him closer, and tangled my fingers on his hair, he lifted me and moved me to his lap. He was breathing heavily and when I traced his bottom lip with my tounge he stopped. Grinning against my own lips. His hand running up and down my back. I felt one of them falling to my leg, oh god, I felt like I was about to faint. His lips moved to my neck now. And his strong lips pressed there, sucking. He was leaving a hikey. I couldn't care less.

"I _love_ you Bella." he whispered against my lips "I really do."

"I..." his soft lips pressed against mine again. His breath was sweet. "...so sweet." I heard my words stumble out of my mouth and he laughed. A second later Alice was inside the car, backseat a wide grin spread across her face. Edward rolled his eyes and slowly helped me to get back to my seat. I sighed out in frustration as I pouted. He gave me a peck and turned the car on. His hand sneaked up my tight, and reached for mine, holding mine.

"Alice, I don't if I want to hug you or stab you right now."

And the little pixie woman, just laughed.

--

"Edward, stop that, NOW."

"But Bella...you seemed to be enjoying it. A lot actually."

"Edward..."

"If I must."

I almost laughed at his expression. He looked like he had just been told that his whole family had died. I felt how his fingers moved up from my chest to my neck and rested there. Edward had been trying to push further my boundaries ever since we had become and official 'couple'. That had only happened three days ago. Rosalie had talked my parents into the idea of me staying here until I finished high school. She seemed rather amused by the idea that Edward Cullen had fallen in love with me, of course her logic was stronger than anything and she had sworn that she would kill Edward _and _his Volvo if he ever hurted me again. And here's where I had ended up, in my bed with Edward Cullen on top of me, my brain screaming to stop and my body screaming for his touch. God I hated my brain, so much.

I felt how he was trying to distract me, while kissing my neck he was trying to drop his hand on my chest again. I rolled my eyes, could the guy be any more obvious? I sighed and pushed him off of me, only to turn around and burry my face into the pillow. If this went on some more minutes we both knew what would happen, my self-control was shaking and I dug my nails into the pillow when I felt his hand on my waist, trying to turn me around. I needed a cold shower.

"Bella..." he kissed me lightly on the cheek, I bit my lip trying to let all the frustration out.

"God, Edward, do you want me to combust here and die? Rose wouldn't be happy."

"Mhm...Silly Bella..." his voice was so soft...like velvet, or maybe I was completly crazy already. "Breathe." I grabbed his hand and placed it on his chest, he chuckled and placed it on my waist, again.

Oh man...this was going to be a long night.

--

**EPOV**

Her hair was perfect. I didn't know how I hadn't notice that before but it was. So soft and at night when she was sleeping and it was spread all over her pillow it felt like silk. It was plain perfect. But lately I had discovered that everything about it was perfect, her lips, her eyes, she made me feel like I was living in a stupid chick-flick everytime I saw her. And her body was completly flawless too, at least what I had seen. Rosalie had noticed our growing physical attachement, it was kind of hard not ot specially since the scene she had found us in her living room a week ago...kind of...well...

**_A week ago._**

_"You seem tense." her small hand ran up and down my back, teasingly._

_"Bella..." I warned "Don't." I didn't want to put her in a situation that would make her feel uncomfortable, and if she kept this up, well I was only a guy with a lot of hormones after all, and she was a beautiful girl who was constantly teasing me and then pushing me away. "Don't be a tease, Bells."_

_"Oh, Edward I'm not a tease." she whispered "I'm just a reminder of what you can't have."_

_"Damn it, Isabella." her quick fingers started doing the buttons of my shirt and before I could blink it was off, i grabbed her arm quickly and turned her around, almost loosing balance, the couch wasn't that big. She seemed shocked and she was breathing heavily, but then she reacted again and her arms were immedeatly wrapped around me, her nails dug into my back. I got caught up in the moment and ripped her shirt offm the buttons bounced all around the room. I smiled_

_"You're lucky that wasn't my favourite shirt." the words stumbled out of her mouth as I removed what was left of it. She was wearing a black bra, it made such an amazing contrast with her milky skin, God could she be any more gorgeous?. She pressed her lips against my jaw line. But she suddenly pulled away, I had heard the sound of the key too. I got up quickly and helped her up from the couch._

_"Go! Hide in my bedroom! If Rosalie sees us here you won't hear the end of it!" I ran quickly into her bedroom and pressed my ear against the door. It was Rosalie._

_"Bella...why aren't you wearing a shirt?"_

_"It was hot." I rolled my eyes, her bottom lip was probably trembling right now, she always did that when she lied._

_"Rii-ght." I could see Rosalie rolling her eyes in my head "And you just ripped your shirt off, instead of taking it off like a normal person?" A second went by "Okay I'm going to get the rest of the groceries..." I heard some steps "Oh and by the way, tell Edward not to forget his shirt when he sneaks out your window."_

**_Damn it._**

Since then Rosalie had stayed up every night watching T.V in the living room, well she was actually watching over Bella. Making sure that I wasn't raping her little innocent cousin who I had already corrupted. In her words. Oh well. It wasn't my fault that now her so called-innocent cousin was pushing me against one of the cafeteria walls, sitting on my lap. I caught a glimpse of her irritated face as she entered the cafeteria with her groupies, wait was Jasper holding my sister's hand? Anyway I was sure her eyes weren't the only ones that were watching us, that Jessica girl had been giving Bella sour glares all day long. I was sick of it.

"Edward? What are you thinking about?"

"Eh?" I looked at her and her expression was so innocent, so...perfect. I grabbed her face and kissed her, lightly.

"Stop, please, stop." Bella started laughing against my lips at the sound of her cousin's exasperated voice. "I have enough with the whole school talking about you two."

"Jessica was saying that you two were doing...rather innapropate things during the Biology class." My sister was glowing with joy and satisfaction, of course she was, she had her best friend back now that Rosalie was focusing all her hate on me, and apparently she was with Jasper too.

"Jessica is a jealous bitch." Bella muttered, Jasper and Emmett started laughing at her reaction.

"Woah, Bella. Calm down." Alice said in between giggles

"Whatever, let's go to class Edward." she got up from my lap and grabbed her backpack, I was getting up but I felt pulled and I noticed that she was dragging me out of the cafeteria. When I caught up with her pace she held my hand.

"Please don't rape her!"

Bella chuckled at Rosalie's last comment and leaned onto my chest.

"If she only knew..." she whispered, laughing.

Oh boy.

‏


	17. Future

**Beautiful Disaster**

_A/N: Okay, this chapter is pure fluff, I swear. I'm saving the drama for the next chapter but since there has already been some drama I thought I should give you guys some goodness. So drop me a review and I'll update sooner. And you'll get a Jasper doll! LOL. I love you all and you're the greatest support ever oh and before I forget, do you guys think that I should write a sequel for this story when I finish it? Just want to know! Lovies! _

**EPOV**

"Edward are you in here...Edward?"

I wrapped my arms around her waist. Her breathing and heartbeat stopped for a second, and then she turned around a smile spread across her beautiful features as she saw me. That came with a light slap on my chest and a cascade of giggles. She buried her face into my neck and kissed me lightly there. She pulled away her face was serious now, her eyebrow arched and her lips were a thin line.

"You scared the hell out of me Edward." she stated seriously.

"I couldn't help it." I said as I pressed my cheek against her neck "I told you...you're too tempting."

"Don't change the topic Edward." she demanded as I pressed my lips against her shoulder.

"Oh but I like this topic." She laughed and pulled away a little bit. "It's so interesting."

"Okay, stop it seriously." she wrapped her arms around my neck again "Alice was at my house this morning."

"Oh."

"Oh? That's all you want to say to me? Oh? Edward I'm trying to be a good girlfriend here and be concern, because the last time we talked about your parents you were like..." she stopped for a minute and smelled me "And you haven't been smoking..I thought you smoked when you were frustrated or sad..."

"Well I thought you'd be happy darling but apparently we were both mistaken." I chuckled lightly

"I am, I'm just...surprised...you are doing this...for me?" she was truly surprised that I wanted to do something to make her happy, I loved her, of course I'd do it for her. I was sure I'd do anything she ask me to.

"Have you never met a woman who inspires you to love? Until your every sense is filled with her? You inhale her. You taste her..." I continued as I ran my nose down her neck and pressed my lips lightly against some spots "You see your unborn children in her eyes and know that your heart has at last found a home. Your life begins with her..." I stopped at her shoulder and pressed my lips lightly "..and without her it must surely end."

"Edward..." she whispered, I could tell she was struggling to breathe. "Edward stop sweet-talking me. You're not Johny Depp or Don Juan for that matter." I could feel her smile now.

"That's how I love you, Bella. _Like a sickness and it's cure. _Of course I'd give up smoking for you."

"Edward...stop using Shakespeare on me..." she pressed her lips lightly against mine and broke our embrace quickly "Do not distract me, Edward Cullen."

"Okay...I give up, let's go to my room." she placed her hands on her hips and arched her eyebrow "To talk! Bella you need to get your mind off the gutter."

She smiled at me playfully and rested her hand on my chest as she leaned closer, pressing her lips to my earlobe "It's hard when you have a boyfriend that looks like Adonis."I chuckled and scooped her up in my arms."Edward put me down!"

I chuckled a little and started carrying her upstairs, bridal style.

"Edward!"

--

"What are you thinking about?"

Her voice was almost like a whisper, her fingers were tracing patterns on my arm. I could tell that she was leaning closer even with my eyes closed. She pressed her lips against my cheek. I chuckled as she continued her patterns.

"I'm thinking that you can't keep your hands to yourself Missy." I said as I opened my eyes and quickly moved her under me."Or maybe I should just keep mine on you."

"Edward.." she whispered as her hands started roaming my chest. "I like this shirt. It's a nice shirt..." she smiled "It looks good on you..." she bit her lip and did the first button "It'll look better off on the floor."

"Bella..." I warned her as I closed my eyes. "Do not start something you're not willing to finish."

"Oh Edward I'm just proposing to have some harmless fun...you know, since you don't want to talk." I opened my mouth to refuse but she covered it with her delicate hand "Edward I know this upsets you, I know you love Alice and Esme but you still miss your mother and that this thing of new vows, whatever it is, makes you feel like that all over again. I'm not blaming you for not wanting to talk, I'm just giving you space until you're ready. And offering you some fun. Of course we're not doing _that_ now I mean...I wouldn't like my first time to be..." and then she stopped when she realized what she had just confessed.

Of course I had assumed she was...that she hadn't...she was so innocent and pure, Bella was...I noticed the redness her cheeks had gained in a second.

"Is that a...problem?" she asked, whispering. I smiled and leaned closer, pressing her lips against mine lightly. "Edward..." she talked against my lips.

"Why would it be?" I kissed her temple "I wouldn't do anything you don't want me to Bella."

"I was just...I thought you knew..." she looked so cute when she was nervous "I mean..I've never..."

I covered her lips with mine to stop the cascade of words that were stumbling out of her mouth.

"I just want to know why, Bella..." I muttered as I pulled away. "Why me? Why now? Do you even understand what you're asking me to do?"

"Edward I..." she closed her eyes and sighed out, trying to relax. "I'm in love with you..." she opened her eyes "...I love you and I know that this...connection that we have..this feeling, it's real. It's mutual and it's deep. And right now...I'm in love for the first time of my life Edward, and if twenty years from now I have to tell my husband-to-be that I lost _it _to my first love, and it reminds me of the way I feel right now. I'll be okay with that. I know you want me to be sure about this but..."

"Are you saying you're not planning to marry _me_?"

"Edward..." she rolled her eyes "I'm seventeen, and I'm planning to get married at 23 at least...do you think you can put up with me that long?"

"Bella do you listen to me at all?" I arched my eyebrow, get sick of her? She was the one who would get sick of me.

"Of course I do. And I know you don't like the idea of marriage or commitment at all for that matter. In fact I bet you're dying to get out of this vows renewal thing. You're probably trying to get yourself out of 'being the best man' at all" I rolled my eyes, did she really know me that much? "See, you roll your eyes when you're trying to deny the truth." she giggled "And right now I'm pretty sure you're kind of bipolar."

"See..." I said as I leaned, pressing my lips to her neck "Aren't you glad to got you find that out before you shagged ol' bipolar Eddie?"

"Edward..." she rolled her eyes and I laughed

"See I can never tell how are you feeling when you roll your eyes because you do that all the time." she smiled at me and slapped me lightly on the chest "I love you.."

"I know."

She said as she leaned closer, kissing me, pressing every part of her body to mine. God she was killing me, she did the second and third button of my shirt, her hands roaming the exposed skin hungrily. She pulled away and moved her lips to my neck, sliding under me, until she reached my chest, kissing every inch of skin she could reach. I closed my eyes and tried to focused on not putting any weight on her. She flipped us over quickly, straddling my waist, I opened my eyes and pulled her down to kiss me, when suddenly the door shot open.

"Edward I think it's time for Bella to go home." I recognized Esme's voice immediately.

"Oh my god. Mrs. Cullen...I'm so sorry...I..." Bella jumped out of bed and grabbed her jacket and her boots on the way out. "I'm so sorry...Edward..." I nodded at her and chuckled at the redness of her cheeks, she smiled and ran out of the room quickly.

"Esme, please." I said as I turned around, great just when it was getting good.

"Edward I'm not going to give you a sex talk. I'm just going to tell you that...just be careful with Bella, she's not like the girls you go out with."

"The girls I go out with?" I arched my eyebrow and turned around to face her, what the hell was that supposed to mean?

"She really cares about you Edward." What does she think? That I don't give a crap about her?

"I love her, Esme." I stated as I fell back onto the bed. "I really love her."

"That's great. I'm happy for you Edward..." she turned around to leave but she stopped on her track "...tonight when you sneak out the window, make sure you lock your door, your father almost caught you last night."

"Thank you..." I sighed "..**_mom_**"

"You're welcome.." she said, I could hear the delight in her voice. Maybe Bella was right, maybe I should give Esme a chance.

Just then I heard the sound of the front shutting.

--

"Edward...you came..."

Her sweet sleepy voice caught me off guard and almost made me drop the book that I was holding, her fingertips touched my cheek lightly, she tried to adjust her eyes to the moonlight that was coming through the window, but finally gave up and closed her eyes again, resting her face on my chest.

"Of course I did. I didn't come through your window though, I knocked and everything." she laughed lightly

"You knocked in the door and asked Rosalie to come in to sleep with me?" I laughed at the sound of that too, but she changed the subject "What are you reading?"

"Wuthering Heights...I found it on your desk. I was waiting for you to wake up."

"For me to wake up? Edward what time is it?" she rubbed her eyes and snuggled closer to my chest

"Three A.M." I muttered and she opened her eyes to look at me

"You were reading Wuthering Heights at three a.m. and waiting for me to wake up?" I nodded "That's even weirder than asking my cousin if you could come in to sleep with me." she brushed her lips against my cheek and closed her eyes again. "Okay I've given you your goodnight kiss, sleep now. Tomorrow we have to study for that Spanish exam..." she yawned "...and there's also your best man speech..." she yawned again and snuggled even closer if it was possible "...and Edward..."

"Yes, Bella?"

"I love you..." she muttered under her breath as she drifted to sleep. "And if you can keep up with me until we're 23...I'll marry you..."

I couldn't help but to smile at this. Bella being mine, every single day of my life. Belonging to me, forever.

"I know."

‏


	18. Morning

**Beautiful Disaster**

_A/N: So yes I haven't updated in like a gazillion years! I'm so sorry! But please **READ **the author note because I have something important to say. I'm changing the rating of the story because there are going to be some lemons from now on, this chapter is like really lemony and pretty graphic so if you are offended but something like that you should stop reading. just a warning. I hope you like the chapter, please drop a review! I always love to read what you've got to say :D_

**BPOV**

"Mhm...Bella...mhm love, I love you too...oh."

I tried to choke my laughter back. Who would've thought that Edward was a sleep-talker too? I tried to calm myself so I wouldn't wake him, but it was a little late. My laughter was slightly shaking the bed. It was too late because his eyes snapped open, boring into mine. I felt dizzy and dazzled even if he had stared at me for just a second or two. His hand went immediately to my face and he pulled me closer to kiss me, but I stopped him.

"Morning breath." I muttered and he rolled his eyes

"Bella.." he whispered. Why did his breath smell so sweet at mornings?

"Mhm..don't try to distract me Mister, I'm not going to kiss you until I brush my teeth. And right now I don't feel like moving so you'll have to way as long as I want."

"Bella...you're tempting me far too much.." he pressed his lips against my ear "Does that mean that I get to kiss you elsewhere?"

"What are you trying to Edward Cullen?" Too late his lips were on my neck and he was already on top of me "Edward...what are you doing?" I rested my hand on his naked chest and arched my eyebrow "Edward I'm serious...what are you..." his lips pressed against the base of my throat and I moaned. Had he changed his mind? About waiting? About...

"Bella..." he whispered breathless

"Edward you sound like you are praying..." he laughed bitterly and buried his face in my neck mumbling something against my over-heated skin "Edward...look at me.." he lifted his head and looked into my eyes, as soon as he was close I pulled him by the hair closer, pressing my lips hungrily to his. "I want you, Edward..."

"Bella, no.."

"I'm not saying we should go all the way right now, I'm just saying.." I took a deep breath but he spoke before I could continue

"I want to see you Bella." he tugged the hem of my shirt "I want to..." I covered his mouth with my hand

"Just one promise..." I whispered "No ripping."

He threw his head back as he laughed and then helped me to sit so he could take my shirt off, when it was finally off he threw it across the room and pushed me back onto the bed, he seemed slightly disappointed that I was wearing a bra, habit I had acquired since ha had started coming over. His long fingers traced the edge of my bra, slowly caressing the exposed skin. He buried his face into my neck and made his way down slowly planting kisses along my skin. He was saying something against my skin. I was too focused on staying on this planet to realize that he was trying to unclasp my bra. I started giggling.

"Bella this isn't funny..." he frowned at me "You know how frustrating is not being able to get your own girlfriend out of her underwear?"

"I'm sorry.." I muttered as I continued laughing "You're so cute when you're horny.."

"Yeah I'll show you cute." he muttered angrily

"Edward..." I replied between giggles trying to control myself "It unclasps from the front, you silly." I brought my hand to my chest and slowly unclasped my bra "See?"

It took me a second to realize that now I was totally exposed to him. Just trying to prove a point my...

"Bella...you're...so beautiful...there are no words to describe you..." he grabbed my bra and threw it across the room, as he brought his lips to mine pressing our naked chests together. I felt like every single fiber was on fire, the friction. God I couldn't breathe. He ran his hands up and down my back and he pressed his lips to the hollow behind my ear. I was positive that I was panting by now.

"Bella..."

He brought his lips to my breasts and started slowly and gently kissing them, his lips were gentle pressing against every single spot of my skin. I didn't think I could take it any more after he brought his lips to my nipple. And then his tongue licked over it playfully.

"Edward, huh..." I grabbed his face and brought his lips to mine again. "Edward, God."

"Are you calling me God?" he asked, delighted by my senseless rambling.

"Edward..uh." I threw my head back and knotted his hair "Edward..."

"Yes, Bella? What do you want?" I moaned as his lips met my neck again "You have to tell me, Bella."

"I want you..." I realized I was panting "I want you to touch me Edward..." I grabbed his hand and moved it down to my pantie line "I want to feel you...there."

"Oh Bella.." he took a sharp intake of breath and his lips fell to my chest again, kissing, licking biting, every single piece of skin his lips could reach. "Bella..you're so beautiful...so gorgeous. There are no words to describe you."

His long fingers hooked around the waistband of my pyjama pants and slightly pulled them down, his fingers running up and down my legs as he did, sending shivers down my spine, I was sure my legs were shaking. His hot breath blowing over my overheated skin, I could feel him everywhere, like he was a cloud surrounding me, I was drowning in him.

"Edward...uhn..." I felt his fingers slipping under my panties. Oh God. He was going to touch me. He was going to give in. Finally. "Edward..."

I gripped his shoulders and closed my eyes as one of his fingers entered me. I felt like my system was crashing down, my whole body was shaking. His other hand kept on tracing my pantie line, his tongue mimicking his action on my lips. I could only take this much. I opened my mouth, taking his tongue into it and sucking lightly on it. After weeks and weeks of pointless teasing I needed this, I wanted this. I felt another glorious finger slipping inside of me. My hips buckled against his and he groaned.

"Eager are we?" In times like this I wondered how the hell did he remain so calm. My nervous system was probably collapsing and he looked like he was having the time of his life.

"Oh Lord..." I muttered as he started to pick a pace "Ughnn...can't take it."

"Do you want me to stop?" he purred into my ear. He purred for heaven's sake.

"No, no. Please..." I pleaded, I swear I heard him chuckling "I...want...you.."

"I want you too." he breathed in sharply and then rested his forehead on mine as he closed his eyes. "But we are not going all the way right now..." I pressed my finger to his lips, I didn't want him to kill the mood, My body was practically aching for him. I pressed my lips against his and wrapped my arms around his half-naked form.

"Kiss me Edward..."

He leaned closer slightly pressing his lips to mine, but I pulled away. I wanted him to understand what I had said. I wanted him to _really _kiss me. To kiss me there, there in the spot that was screaming for his attention. I needed him, and I couldn't say it out loud, I could barely say something coherent. He must have understood because as I closed my eyes I felt his lips on my stomach his tongue dancing around my belly button. He pressed his lips just above my navel and then he did it. His long fingers grabbed my tights, gently spreading my legs. Then I felt a loud ripping sound, had he just ripped my panties? I was going to open my eyes to check but then he blew his hot breath over my over-heated center. I threw my head back, I was in ecstasy, heaven, complete and pure heaven. Or I thought so...until he thrust ed his tongue inside me.

Oh God.

My legs started shaking and I knew I wouldn't last long, he was thrusting in and out now, his hands placed in my hips, stating his rhythm. I could hardly talk but I knew that there were sounds coming out of my mouth. He was kissing me, just like I had asked, giving the most passionate kiss down there. He was practically fucking me with his tongue. Actually that was exactly what he was doing. He thrust ed one more time inside of me, his glorious mouth sucking in my bundle of nerves and I knew I was done for.

I fell over the edge. It felt like I was jumping down a cliff, waves and waves of unbearable pleasure hitting me, my whole body shaking with the pressure. I felt his lips against mine, moving harshly, hungrily, he was holding me so close, there was not space for air between us. I felt that every part of our bodies was touching, our legs entangled, my arms around his neck, my hands on his hair, and then he placed his mouth on my neck, sucking and I couldn't help but to scream, it was way too much for me. I felt like my breath was calming down and that my body was coming down from the clouds. His lips were still against my neck, his fingers tracing patterns on my sides.

"I love you.." I could almost feel his grin against my skin as he said it.

"I love you too..." I grabbed his face and pressed my lips to any spot I could reach. His eyes, his nose, his cheeks, his chin, his lips. "...so much Edward, I love you."

"Bella..." he chuckled against my neck "I think your cousin woke up."

"What?..." I stopped talking and then I heard the pacing on the room that was above mine and I laughed too "Poor Rose, traumatized for life...Edward I should get dressed." I tried to pull the sheets to my body when I realized I was completely naked and he was still wearing his pyjama pants. "I...need to get new underwear apparently.."

"Bella! Edward! Open the door!" surprisingly it was Alice's voice "Open up! C'mon Bella! You need to look for dresses for the renewal of vows. Bellaa..." her high pitched voice kept on rambling as I pushed Edward off of me and grabbed his shirt and my pyjama pants from the floor.

"When did you exactly took your shirt off?" I whispered to him as I leaned closer to kiss him.

"Last night...while you were asleep." I arched my eyebrow "It was hot.." he replied and then he kissed me "Guess you don't care that much about morning breath now, huh?"

"Shut up." I unlocked the door and a second later I was being strangled by Alice's hug

"Ew! Bella you're all sweaty and sticky! Take a shower for my sake!" she turn to Edward and grinned "You should be going home. Mom is not such a good liar and Carlise might be high on love and all that but..."

"Okay got it Alice! Leaving..." he wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his lips to mine. "I'll come back for my shirt later.." and he jumped through the window. I smiled and then turned around to face Alice. She was covering her mouth with her tiny hand and laughing. I could see Rose leaning against the door covering her face with both of her hands. Finally Alice spoke.

"You guys totally did it!"

Oh boy.

--

"So Bella you need to try this dress on..."

"Rosalie don't be mad please." I looked at my cousin, she hadn't stared at me since this eventful morning "Rose c'mon..."

"Bella I'm not mad..." she looked at me and wrapped her arms around me, hugging me "I'm just scared. You are my little cousin and you are growing up and I'm just.."

"Worried about me, I know." I hugged her tightly "I love you Rose. And I love you for worrying..." I sighed "But I love Edward too and I know what I'm doing."

"I know...I wish I could predict the future just to tell you if this relationship is good for you." she laughed lightly "Now let's go and get that dress!"

"You don't have to be happy for me Rose, just accept it." I muttered

"I'm getting there." she smiled but then the smile was whipped off of her face, her eyes went wide and her fingers curled into fists "Shit."

"What?" I turned around and that was when I saw _him_ standing there, staring at me and at Rosalie. What was he even doing here? In a store in Port Angels? That didn't make any sense. He lived in Phoenix. He was...

"Bella, so nice to see you again."

_Jacob._

--

**Review for a sneak peak! :)**

‏


	19. Disaster

**Beautiful Disaster**

_A/N: Okay so I did update faster this time didn't I? Well I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm about to bring some drama on! I know you're all hating on Jacob but it's probably not because of the right reasons. Anyway I hope you like this chapter and that you can drop me a review as always. You know reviews make me really happy and the more you review the faster I'll update. You get Edward-shaped cookies! Thank you awesome readers!  
_

**BPOV**

_"Excuse me?" _

_The deep voice echoed in my head and I didn't dared to turn around to look at my boyfriend. He'd probably be confused and I couldn't explain right now...I took in a deep breath as I stared at the face that was in front of me. Why wasn't Rosalie doing anything? Why was I facing the person I never wanted to see again? How had he find me? I closed my eyes for a minute and when I opened them I realized Edward was standing beside me, he was looking directly into Jake's eyes. _

_I felt my legs were giving out to the pressure, Edward's face was mad, his green eyes sparkling with fury, he looked like he was out of his mind about to snap. And I always knew that Jake had issues with his temper. I was standing in the middle trying to decide what to say, what to do. I looked at Edward and I knew he wouldn't last too long. The anger was starting to show everywhere on his face. _

_The last thing I saw before I passed out was the look of betrayal in his green eyes._

"SHIT!"

I woke up sweating with my heartbeat and my breath out of control, my lungs were burning. _Edward didn't see him. _The voice in my head said trying to calm me. I fell back onto the pillow and turned around to stare at Edward. He was moving, probably had been awoken by my sudden out burst. Five seconds later he opened his eyes and stared at me, I looked away, I was sure he was going to see I was hiding something as soon as he looked me in the eyes. His long finger lifted my chin and he looked into my eyes, the unanswered question floating in the air around us.

"I'm fine.." he chuckled "What?"

"You're so cocky...going around telling people you're fine.." I laughed shyly at his joke "Bella people who are okay don't wake up at three a.m cursing.." he trailed off "Where you having a nightmare?"

"No, no." I leaned down and rested my hand on his naked chest "I love you, you know that?"

"I love you more." he whispered as he pressed his lips to mine, my arms immediately flew around his neck, sometimes I wondered how lucky I was that Edward's parents were so permissive. I sighed.

"Impossible." He wrapped his strong arms around my waist and started kissing my neck gently. Maybe he did love me more, maybe we would tell me if he was in a situation like this. It had been a week since my unpleasant encounter with my past-self and I still couldn't get it off of my mind. I knew Jacob didn't give up so easily, and that he would come back. I didn't want him anywhere near Edward.

"Bella? What's going through that little pretty head of yours?" his lips were pressed against my throat. "Bella...if you are not ready to talk about, whatever it's that's bothering you is okay. I can wait."

"I love you..." I could sense my eyes watering "I'll talk to you, I promise. Right now I just want to..." and my voice cracked.

"Oh love." He pulled me down and placed his elbows at my sides, leaning over me, his body pressed into mine "What is it?"

"I don't want to think about it Edward."

I connected my mouth with his. My lips were urgent, demanding, lustful, I was bruising his lips. My nails dug into his shoulders and he let out a whimper of pain into my mouth, even if I was fighting for air now, I couldn't pull away. I couldn't. The tears were running freely down my cheeks now and one got in between our lips, I could taste the salty water in between the battle out tongues were playing. He pulled away.

"Bella..love, don't cry. Don't please..." he wiped my tears away carefully and kissed my eyelids. And I cried even harder.

I cried because of what I had done two years ago. I cried because I loved him so much and I didn't deserve him. I cried because I knew that sooner or later I would have to give him up and I cried because I knew he would found someone who was so much better than me. Because I didn't want to lie to him, I just wanted to protect him and probably when I finally told him and then I said that he would walk away. And I deserved that.

But mostly I cried because I was going to loose him and I couldn't do anything about it.

--

"Bella..." I felt something poking me "Bella wake up, come on we have to talk..." I opened my eyes and I found my cousin staring at me, she was sitting on my bed, immediately I noticed that Edward's arms weren't around me anymore.

"I sent him home, Alice needs us for the rehearsal of the dinner or something, that girl is going to be a wedding planner I swear..." she paused

"Rosalie is six a.m, I highly doubt that you woke me up to talk about Alice, so please get to the point. You already put me in a bad mood since you probably kicked my boyfriend out." she grinned "So...?"

"Jacob was here." I jumped from bed.

"When? Why didn't you tell me?" I rubbed my eyes and stared at her

"Yesterday, when you were at Edward's, I didn't tell you because I thought you were ignoring the fact that he existed in front of Edward."

"Yes I am but..." I trailed off "I can't tell him Rosalie. He'll hate me...I know he is going to hate me if I don't tell him either but..."

"Bella I have been living here for two years, I can tell you everything you've done, Edward has done worst." she sighed "Bella he is not going to take it that bad..."

"Not going to take it bad? Rosalie he is going to think I'm a hypocrite! I freaked out because he smoked! What is he going to say when he finds out that I was a..." I trailed off "Besides...if he finds out about Jacob..."

"Bella you were just fooling around, you didn't even do anything with him...and what if you were kind of an..well that?"

"ROSALIE!" I covered my face with my hands, I knew that my previous addiction was a ta bu subject back at my parents but apparently it wasn't a problem to Rosalie "Please...he can't know. Ever."

"Well then do something about Jacob, because he isn't giving up Bella. He wants you back and as he said 'pretty-boy-toy doesn't stand a chance'." she twitched her mouth "Edward could kick his sorry-ass. But of course...he wouldn't." she paused again licking her lips "Look Bella we all made mistakes, you were fifteen and you were an idiot, your parents were about to divorce and you went nuts. You thought it was a way out...you made a mistake but you fixed it...after...the accident anyway...you redeemed yourself. You have nothing to be ashamed of..you've changed."

Suddenly Emmett and Jasper walked into my room, they were both smiling.

"Shit...they know too don't they?" I asked, Rosalie nodded "Jasper did you tell Alice?" If Alice knew then Edward knew. I was sure that she couldn't keep anything from him.

"Of course not...just because she's my girlfriend doesn't mean I tell her everything Bella..." Emmett rolled his eyes "You tell everything to Rosalie, you two are like a married couple so shut up."

"You two stop it." Rosalie sighed and turned to me "We are here for you Bella, the guys will kick Jacob's ass if you want to, they'll even kick Edward's if he hurts you.." I winced

"Don't.ever." I muttered "Ever lay a finger on Edward, this isn't his fault. He loves me more than I deserve and he doesn't deserve any of this."

"Bella..." Emmett finally spoke up "Bella we are going to do whatever you ask us to..."

"Just don't tell my parents...they still blame themselves for everything that happened and...they'll take me away immediately if they find out Jacob's here." I ran my fingers through my hair "I need to get ready...Alice is going to kill me if I don't get there in time."

"You don't have to go if you don't want to Bells..." Jasper smiled at me "I'll tell Alice you feel sick.."

I grinned at him and got up from bed as I answered

"Like that would stop her."

--

"BELLA! ROSE! I was starting to get worried!" the little pixie girl ran towards us but before she could reach me she was stopped by a strong pair of arms "Jazz..." she muttered now, her expression changed from happy to dreamy and her lips connected to Jasper's immediately.

I looked away and spotted Edward across the salon, he was leaning against a wall, looking down. His bronze hair was messy and the first buttons of his shirt were open letting in sight a little bit of his beautiful chest. I smiled to myself as I walked towards him when I was close enough for him to hear me he looked up and smiled at me, pulling me into a hug, I buried my face into his neck and one of his hand went to my hair while his other arm held me firmly by the waist.

"I missed you..." I felt my eyes watering as he spoke to me "Rosalie kicked me out this morning...claiming she wanted to spend some time with you..." I smiled against his skin "Nobody should spend time with you but me..." he laughed against my hair.

"You sound like a caveman Edward.." his fingers pulled my hair gently, moving my face out of the crook of his neck, his green eyes were sparkling

"Does that bother you? That I think of you as _mine_?" he asked teasingly but I could hear the insecurity behind his voice, I bit my lip and smile at him.

"I never said it did.." and I crashed my lips with his for a second but Alice voice interrupted us.

"Bella! Edward! get over here now!" I turned around and saw her standing in the middle of the dance floor "We need to see what you've got..."

"And this is just a vows renewal..." Edward muttered against my ear "Can you imagine how she'll be during her own wedding?" I chuckled and grabbed his hand guiding him towards the dance floor.

"Edward I can't dance..." he laughed "It's not funny idiot!" I slapped his chest and he laughed harder

"I'm not laughing at you love." he kissed my forehead and started moving us around the dance floor "I'll teach you...you focus on the music."

_Time is gonna take my mind  
and carry it far away where I can fly  
The depth of life will dim my temptation to live for you  
If I were to be alone silence would rock my tears  
'cause it's all about love and I know better  
How life is a waving feather_

I sighed when I recognized the song...couldn't Alice picked something else? I pressed my head against his chest and closed my eyes as he continued moving us around the dance floor. He was humming along with the music. I didn't like this song, probably because it talked to much like me, like what I felt right now. I clutched my fingers in his shirt. I bit my lip trying to stop the tears from flowing when suddenly the music stopped. Edward didn't pull away, instead he pulled me closer to his chest.

"Bella, Edward...meet our DJ I found him today! A total miracle because they were all booked by this date and..."

When I turned around I couldn't believe my eyes...I couldn't believe he would go this far. I felt my knees shaking and the tears on the borders of my eyes. I felt Rosalie's arms around my waist. She obviously know I was going to collapse if something didn't hold me.

"Bella, so nice to see you again..." Jacob's thick voice echoed in my head, my vision was getting blurry.

"You two know each other? How great!" Alice smiled innocently, she looked back and forth between us "..or not."

"Edward..." Emmett snapped all of a sudden "I think you should take Bella home, she isn't feeling so well..."

I looked up at him and saw that his green eyes were sparkling with fury, he was looking at Jacob and Rosalie's arm around my waist had been replaced with his. I looked at Jacob, he was just smiling evilly, looking at Edward, like this was what he wanted all along. I was going to faint. I looked at Edward who seemed to be getting more and more frustrated by my feelings. NO. No I had to stay conscious. Focus.

"Okay Jacob I think it's time for you to go..." Alice said, her small body positioned between Jacob and Edward. "I'll call you about this later.."

"Okay, I was just saying hi to an old friend..." he smirked "The guys miss you Bella. Remember your friends the ones that you got high with?"

I felt all the eyes turn to me, staring at me. The darkness was sucking me in. My legs weren't answering.

_The last thing I saw before I passed out was the look of betrayal in his green eyes._

I couldn't resurface.

‏


	20. Nightmare

**Beautiful Disaster**

_There is no pain equal to that which two lovers can inflict on one another._

- Cyril Connolly

**BPOV.**

_Is love a tender thing? it is too rough. Too rude, too boisterous, and it pricks like thorn. _

I ran my fingers across the pages. My old Shakespeare collection, it had been and still was quite a companion. I sighed and turned my head to look out the window. It was still raining. I could hear the water running upstairs. I titled my head again, Emmett was still as a statue on the other side of the couch. He was staring at the tv but there was something about the blank look on his face. I sighed. Here it came.

"You're being a drama queen you know that, right?" he turned his head and looked at me as I dropped my eyes.

"I'm not." I sighed.

"Alice wants to kick your ass."

"I don't care Emmett."

It was Alice's fault after all. It was her fault I was still in Forks, it was her fault that Edward had said he loved me. It was her fault that Jacob had encouter me that day. It was all her freaking fault. She had done this. _She wasn't a druggie, Bella. _I could hear Rosalie's voice in my head. My nails scratched the book and before I could stop myself I had ripped the page.

"Someone needs a rage-control program." Emmett whistled.

"Emmett stop or I'll use the Mozart." I threatened him, making a big effort to look as murderous as Rosalie did. I failed and he started laughing again, his laughter was shaking the couch.

"Very mature Bella..."

I winced. That sounded very much like...

_I was coming back to consciousness slowly...almost as if my body was frightened to react. I didn't want to open my eyes, I didn't want to face the people I loved, the people I had lied to. I could see Edward's face behind my eyelids. His beautiful face contorted with confusion and pain just before everything turned black. My path into conciousness was slow...so I slowly became aware of my surroundings. I was in a bed. My bed. I was in my room. There was a noise...it was raining. I opened my eyes slowly, and looked around the room, there leaning against the window, looking at the rain, was Edward. He turned to look at me and I closed my eyes quickly. Not quickly enough though, he saw me._

_"Pretending to be asleep..." he muttered as he turned around and started walking towards me, I could tell by the squeaking of the wood under him "Very mature Bella..."_

I shook myself out of the trick my mind was trying to play on me. I.must.not.remember. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair as I turned to look at Emmett. He held his hands up and muttered something like 'I'm innocent..' I jumped out of the couch and walked towards my bedroom slamming the door behind me. It was raining...again. I locked the door and collapsed onto the bed. I needed to sleep. I needed to think of something else...something that wasn't him.

_"Edward..." I muttered as I straightened myself "I was not...pretending. I just woke up...how long have I been...out?"_

_"Two hours..." he answered as he sat in the bed beside me. "We need to talk."_

_I felt like I was going to vomit. I blinked, and then I remembered everything that had happened before I passed out. I leaned back again._

_"Oh." _

_"Oh?" he asked, arching his perfect eyebrow. I knew where this was going. He was going to leave me. He was going to yell at me because I was a liar and a hypocrate and then he was going to break up with me. "Bella in the last four hours I've found out that the woamn I love was a drug-addict and all you have to say is 'Oh'?" _

_"Well what do you want me to say?" I sat in the bed and hugged my knees. I probably looked like a little kid. A little frightened child._

_"I want you to explain Bella...I'm not out of place here, am I? I just want you to explain why didn't you tell me. Why you did that to yourself.."_

_The words hang in the air, there was a silence. Why you did that to yourself..._

_The memories flashed my mind to quickly. I couldn't stop them. I couldn't supress them. I couldn't help the tears that started to ran down my cheeks. My hands started to shake and I covered my face quickly. I didn't recognize my own voice when I opened my mouth to speak._

_"Go away, Edward."_

_"Bella..." his voice sounded pleadingly "You don't mean that.."_

_"Go away..." I muffled my sobs against my hands. "Please..."_

_"Bella I'm not..."_

_"I think you should leave Edward..." Rosalie's voice interrupted. "Now."_

I shifted in bed slightly, uncomfortable by the painful memory. I reached out and grabbed my phone and flipped it open. 4 new messages. 40 missed calls. I sighed. I might as well get over this. I pressed listen and pressed the phone to my ear. It was him. Again.

_"Bella this is me..." _he paused for a moment _"...Edward. So, I wanted to tell you...Bella, love, please. Talk to me. It's been two weeks Bella. I need you to talk to me. You don't even need to tell me what went on. What happened, I don't care. I just want to talk to you. Please Bella. Call me. Come over. I don't care. I love you."_

Beep.

_"Bella this is Alice. Do not fucking delete this because I'll kick your ass. Look stop being such a whiny brat and talk to my brother, this wasn't his fault and he feels like shit. He is not eating or sleeping and he looks like a creeper sitting by his window waiting for you to come out of the house. You are both in pain and suffering and I'm getting tired of it. Look just talk to him. I'm not asking for you to forget everything and skip into the sunset together. Just come over and talk to him. And I won't go all Emmett on your ass. I still love you Bells, I'm just really disappointed. Sorry."_

Beep.

_"Hey! This is Jasper. Ehrm...Well I'm calling because Alice told me too...I mean NO! No! I'm calling because well I love you as a sister and I want what is best for you...and that's Edward. You need to talk to him, Bells. Cut the crap...Anyway. That's all. Goodbye. Call Edward!"_

Beep.

_"Bella this is Emmett. I'm just leaving this message to bug you. Ha ha! Ouch! Rose there was no need for that! No, I'm just..."_

Beep.

I closed my phone and sighed. Maybe I should talk to Edward. Maybe I should make 'the big gesture'.

_I heard the front door slam. Rosalie and Emmett had probably left. I got up from bed and walked towards the door but before I could unlock it someone knocked._

_Rosalie?_

_I opened the door._

_He was here._

_He had made the big gesture. My eyes were wide and my hand involuntarily flew to the door. I wanted to close the door again? Why was everything moving in slow motion? Damn! I wanted my hand to stop! I didn't want to slam the door in his face. Suddenly and before I could react his arm was around my waist and I was pressed between the wall and his body. God I had missed him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, burring my fingers in his hair. He looked so tired. I sighed and opened my mouth to speak._

_But before I could start his mouth was on mine. His lips moving fiercely, roughly against mine, he pressed his body into mind I wrapped my legs around his waist, locking my ankles and pulling him closer. I was glad he was lifting me because I was sure that if I had been standing, I would have fell by now. His tounge exploring, licking every corner of my mouth. He was eager, like he'd never been before. His mouth moved down my neck, sucking and kissing, leaving read marks, I was sure._

_"You..." I managed as he continued the exploration of my neck "God Edward...you are everything..."_

_He bit my neck and then licked over the same spot, his kisses were going up now, he was licking behind my ear, pressing his cheek against mine. I was drunk, I was drowning in him. He started kissing my eyes and my cheeks and whispering sweet little nothings and I couldn't help the whimpers that were leaving my mouth. He pulled away and moaned as the lost of contact with his lips, and I pulled him even closer with my legs, if possible._

_"I love you Isabella..." he rested his forehead against mine, I could stare directly into his eyes. He was so beautiful. One of my hands dropped from his hair to his cheek, cupping it lightly. "I don't care.." he stopped for a minute and closed his eyes "I don't care about your past Bella...I love you...and as long as you are with me...I don't care..."_

_"Edward..." I cupped both of his cheeks now and pressed out foreheads together again, forcing him to look at me. "Look at me..." he opened his eyes and looked directly into mine. I felt an electric current running down my spine. "I was fifteen years old when I met Jacob. I was very stupid, and very very angry..." I took a deep breath. "My parents were going through a rough time, I thought they were going to divorce...I wasn't doing well in school. It was shock for me...that my family was falling apart. So I met Jacob. He was charming and I was an idiot who had never dated anyone. So...I dated him, for a while, everything was fine..he was the one that was keeping me together, barely...but still...anyway...he introduced me to a couple of his friends. They...they were the ones who gave me my first joint. It started with weed..." his hand slowly caressed my leg."I started trying new things..."_

_"I turned sixteen a month later...things were getting better between my parents...but I was getting worst. I was starting to become terribly dependant of drugs, when I was happy or sad, anytime. Rosalie found out. " he smiled "she freaked out on me and told my parents...they send me to rehab. I was a sixteen year old who had chosen the wrong path. I tried to ran away from rehab once...I crashed the car I stole and..I almost went to a juvy..." I bit my lip, his eyes never leaving mine. "I got out of rehab...and my father sent me here...I've never talked about what went down with Jacob with anyone. Not even my shrink back at rehab...it's a very touchy subject." I felt his fingers tapping along the lenght of my leg. "I want you to know, Edward.." I whispered as I tightened my grip on his cheeks. "I want to tell you, I just need time...I promise I will...Edward I love you so much."_

_"I love you too, my beautiful silly girlfriend." My heart was soaring, flying, I was jumping over a cliff, being surrounded by waves of endless love. His touch, his words, everything about him, melted me to this point, making me so vunerable I was barely able to breathe._

_"Bella..." his velvety voice pulled me back into reality, but this reality was okay now. I was in his arms. "Bella...Bells...Bella.." his voice sounded far...strange...like an echo. _

_"Bella...Bella..." _

_I blinked and suddenly he wasn't holding me anymore, I was alone, locked inside the small room back at rehab. My legs were shaking and my arms were tightly wrapped around my knees. I blinked furiously. I wanted him back, I wanted my Edward back, my heaven, my salvation. This room was so cold and so bright, my eyes were blinded by the glow. I could hear the voices on the other side of the door. _

_"She has been like for the last four days Mrs. Hale. We don't know what to do...she won't eat, or sleep, or move for that matter. The detoxification already happened...we have never seen a case like this...we think she may have sequels, I mean it wouldn't be weird for her to have some...kind of mental...sequel. She won't talk to anyone about the things she has been through and..."_

_"That's okay..." Rosalie's musical voice surprised me, she seemed so worried. "Maybe I shouldn't see her right now, I'll wait." _

_NO! NO! I wanted to scream, to tell her to get into my room, to tell her that she was my best friend, that I loved her, that she had done it for my own good. But I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, my lips weren't moving even when my brain was screaming for them to do it. My blood boiled and my heartbeat was frantic but still I couldn't move. My body was curled in that corner of the small glowing white room. I was trapped. Paralyzed._

_"No..." I whimpered._

_No one heard me._

_"Bella? BELLA? BELLA!" Someone out there was screaming my name, someone knew I was here. "BELLA, BELLA, COME ON BELLA!" _

"Bella! Bella Wake up! Wake up!" I felt something shaking my arm. "Bella stop crying! Wake up!"

"Mhm..." I blinked a few times as I drifted back into consciousness. "Rose?" my voice was thick and as soon as I woke up I felt the wetness resting on my cheeks. I had been crying in my sleep.

My sleep. My dream. My nightmare.

It had been a fantasy. My heart's desire mixed with the part of my life which I was trying to suppress, that Bella that was a shadow hanging over my head. Edward, I had told him...in my dream, and he was okay with it, I was going to tell him about my past, my shameful and terrible past, and he was holding me. As I became aware of this I realized why my mind had combined those two things. My light with my dark. My mind was warning me, that this two things couldn't live together without destroying each other. Edward couldn't destroy my past but he could help me, he could fix me. But he wouldn't. Not after I told him the truth, no after I told him about the old Bella, my nightmare had been a mere glimpse of her, my mind remembered her quite well. I wanted to believe I wasn't her anymore, that I had changed but still I didn't deserve Edward. I wasn't good enough for him.

"Bella? Are you okay, honey?" Rosalie's voice interrupted my thoughts and as soon as I heard her I threw my arms around her, hugging her as close to me as possible and burying my face in her shoulder.

"I love you Rose." Tears burned my eyes again as I pulled her tighter to me. "You are my best friend. I love you." I sobbed into her shoulder.

"Shh." she hushed me as she rocked us back and forth. "Shh." she started humming, lowly.

It took me a minute to realize that I was sobbing into Rosalie's shoulder, hiding my swollen eyes. Muffling my screams, I felt her grip around me tightening as I continued shaking. I was murmuring something, but I couldn't understand it, my words were silenced by Rosalie's hushing.

_"I love him, I love him, I love him..."_


	21. Flying

**Beautiful Disaster**

_A/N: I am so sorry it took me so long to update! I've been working on this chapter for a while now and it really took me long because I was so nervous about it. I hope you can find it realistic in some way. Anyway thank you for your lovely reviews and as always I'm sorry for the mistakes! You get Edward-shaped cookies if you reviews. _

_**So this is love in the end of December, quiet nights, quiet stars. And I'm here Monday to Sunday, cause you're fragile, and I'm weak**_

_I was floating. The air around me was caressing my skin in such a delicate way it could only be described as floating. This was what angels felt like, dancing in the air, away from all of their troubles, if they had any, of the people they had to protect, just floating. Everything seemed so perfect, the sky was just as I had imagined it would be. Soft and gentle, beautiful. As I turned my head I saw him, he was floating beside me. He was there, the wind messing with his hair. his eyes closed and his head titled back. Floating like a feather._

_He looked like an angel._

_That was when I realized that I wasn't floating. I was falling. I looked down and suddenly the wind didn't seem so soft or beautiful. It wasn't a caress. It was a violent whip, hurting my skin. I stretched my arms desperately towards Edward and screamed with all my strengh. But he couldn't hear me, his eyes were still closed and he was peacefully floating around the clouds while I fell towards the earth quickly. I was dying. When he finally heard me it was too late, for me at least._

_And he watched me terrorized as my body continued on falling towards the earth._

--

"Rosalie I don't know if I should go to school today." I heard her sighed and looked down to my lap as I continued playing with my hands. "I mean..."

"Bella you can't miss school any longer, either you go or you drop out." she turned around and placed the dish on the kitchen counter, I bit my lip and almost drew blood out. "Bella..." she walked towards me and knee led in front of me. "Bella I don't want Charlie and Renee to take you away but you know what they'll think. Jacob is around again and you are acting just like...back then. So please..." she grabbed my hands and squished them between hers "Please come to school with me. I swear I'll punch Jessica Stanley even if she glares at you..."

"Forks has no secrets..." I grimaced, _it isn't Jessica you are scared of _the little voice in the back of my head reminded me. "I'll go Rose. But if I feel sick or..."

"You can run back here." Rosalie smiled brightly. "I promise, I won't get in your way." she got up and danced away from me but suddenly she stopped and turned around again. "Bella about that dream..."

"It's nothing Rose. It'll go away. Creepy dreams were always my thing." I smiled weakly at her and jumped from my chair. "Now let's go to that school and kick some ass!"

"Bella you are a terrible liar." she laughed as she grabbed her bag.

_She's right._

--

"Bella!" I cursed mentally at Alice ecstatic tone. I was trying to be subtle and unnoticed but now I was sure that everyone in the parking lot was staring. I thought my hoodie was working. "Bella why are you dressed like you are homeless?" the tiny teenager got in my way as she placed her hands on her hips.

"Maybe because she is one." Ah. Delight, Lauren's voice interrupted Alice's monologue, I clenched my teeth. "Oh little Bella, did you have fun with your friends the stoners?"

"Shut up Lauren." Alice hissed. Now I was sure all of the people in the parking lot were staring. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and continued walking, but I was sure that Lauren and her group of wanna-bees were following me.

"Oh poor little Bella..." one of them muttered. "So lonely and misunderstood. Are you sad because your boyfriend left you as soon as he found out the kind of cunt you are? Edward was always to good for you anyway."

_I know that. _I wanted to say but instead I just kept on walking trying to hide the pain in my face. I hadn't heard his name in a very long time.

"He had his fun fucking you and now he left you. And what's up with the hoodie? You are a little far from eight-mile aren't ya?" It was Jessica Stanley this time. I bit my lip harder and almost started running towards the school.

_Don't cry, __don't cry, __don't cry,__ don't cry,__ don't cry,__ don't cry,__ don't cry,__ don't cry, __don't cry,__ don't cry._

It didn't work. As soon as I entered the school the tears started running down my cheeks. I was determined to lock myself in the bathroom for the rest of the day as I turned into a hallway that was empty when something very bella-ish happened. I tripped. And I closed my eyes ready for more embarrassment when something happened. I didn't fall. There were two hands around my waist all of a sudden. Two hands that were...too familiar. I turned around slowly, and finally faced him.

Edward.

"You should watch your steps." he whispered, his sweet breath was all over my face, as he helped me back on my feet. "Bella are you alright?"

"Yeah..." I choked out and turned around, but he wouldn't let me go. "I need to go." I muttered but he was still staring into my eyes, his green burning my brown.

"You really should watch your steps." he breathed and he leaned down.

And he kissed me.

It wasn't like any other kiss we had. Sure we had been almost intimate but the feeling of this kiss was different. He seemed desparete, like he was thirsty after a long walk through the desert and I was full of the water he wanted, he wrapped his arms around my waist as my hands flew to his face and I moaned into his mouth. I needed him, no matter how much my mind was screaming at me that this would hurt so much when he walked away I couldn't stop. I needed him.

_"I love you..."_

His breathless whispered as he pressed me against the empty hallway wall and he kissed my neck made me weak in the knees. I fisted my hands in his hair and pulled him closer, trying to press his mouth against any spot, I didn't want him to pull away. I had to stop myself, I needed to stop or I would hurt us both so much more. But my body thought before my mind could react and I muttered the words he was waiting for.

"I need.." _I need you, say it. _"I need..." I tried again. "I have to go Edward."

--

I drove around for a few hours. I didn't want to go back to the house and face Rosalie, after all I hadn't even made it to the first period. But after a while there was nowhere to go and I knew that sooner or later I would have to face Rosalie and even worst my parents. But obviously there wasn't much to see. It was Forks after all. So I had to go back to my house eventually, but when I did I made sure that I could go in unnoticed. Luckily for me when I did arrive Rosalie wasn't there, all the lights were off. I jumped out of the truck as soon as I pulled up in the driveway and ran towards the house. I had to get into bed before Rosalie got here, I hoped it would be a while since she probably was at Emmett's.

I stumbled my way to my room and when I finally reached it I got inside and locked the door. I really didn't want to speak with Rosalie today. But when I turned around my breath got caught in my throat, there lying in my bed, looking as beautiful as ever, was Edward. He was sleeping, the moonlight out lined his form, I walked towards the bed slowly and crawled towards him as soon as I reached it. The soft thud of my back hitting the wooden floor made him shift on the bed, but when I reached out and my fingertips brushed against his skin his eyes shot open.

I was going to remove my hand but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me into his arms, and snuggled close to me, blowing his sweet breath all over my face. I sighed and he closed his eyes again, this time with a playful grin plastered in his face. Then I understood. He thought he was dreaming. I turned around and placed my hand against his cheek and as I stared at him I couldn't help the tears that were now rolling down my cheeks, and those were followed by the sobs, raking my body, making me shake in his arms, he opened his eyes and again and this time he stared down at me.

"Bella?" his voice was raspy but his breath was still sweet. "It's you?" I almost laughed. He thought that he was dreaming. Of me. I lifted my hand and cupped his cheek and one of his thumbs wiped away my tears. He smiled and suddenly his grip around my waist tightened. "It's really you."

"You're kind of...in my room." I laughed a little and he smiled. I saw the ghost of a blush coloring his cheeks.

"Damn, I'm so sorry. Bella I'm sorry really..." I understood he wasn't just apologizing for being in my room. "I must seem like a creepy stalker lurking your..."

I cut him off by pressing my lips to his. His parted lips gave me immediate access to his mouth and his breath invaded my mouth, his thumb was still rubbing my cheek and his other hand was pressed against my other cheek while his tongue explored my mouth carefully. Suddenly I felt a weight over my body and I realized that he was pressing every single inch of his body against mine. When he pulled away he pressed his forehead against mine and started placing small kisses all over my face.

"It's really you." he said as I giggled. "I love you." he murmured against my skin.

"We can't do this." I finally managed to breath out the words, the dim light didn't hide the strain of fear that blazed his eyes. "That's not what I meant Edward. We need to talk, we can't go on like this..." He kissed me again and smiled against my lips.

"I want to talk, but I'm...scared." he relaxed against my body. "I've never seen you as scared as you were two weeks ago, you looked mortified. I never want you to feel that way Bella, I only want you to feel the way you make me feel."

"I want to be honest with you." I whispered and he smiled in the dark. "But I'm scared too.."

"Bella..." he shook his head a little and laughed bitterly. "How many times do I have to say this for you to believe me? I love you. Three words. Eight letters. I l-o-v-e y-o-u. There's nothing you could ever say to make me let go. You're not getting rid of me that easily." he paused for a moment and then talked again. "If you feel uncomfortable at some point..."

"I'll stop. I know." he fell beside me and cradled me into his arms as he pressed his lips against my forehead.

"So there was this time when..."

--

"Quite a life story you have..." he finally spoke as he continued playing with a strand of my hair. "I don't judge you for what you did Bella. I can't imagine how you felt...how you feel right now."

Crazy. Completely and utterly crazy, that was what I felt like when I was with the other people. When I was with him it was different, it felt right, it was right. But I couldn't tell him. how would you react if your ex-junkie current girlfriend told you that you were her new addiction. I would run and scream probably. Tell her to stop calling me and never see her again. Yeah.You can trust and addict. They always want more. And that was what I wanted, more Edward. I couldn't get enough.

"I missed you..." I whispered as I wrapped my arms around his chest. "Alice said you were like a zombie this days we were apart." he rolled his eyes.

"Alice was overreacting." he had me under his body again now and his nose was skimming down my neck.

"That's wrong Edward. It's wrong to you and to your family you can't do that when we fight..." I whispered as he continued pressing his lips against my neck. "Edward Anthony Cullen, Are you listening?" he chuckled.

"Bella..." he muttered against my skin. "Mhmm..."

"I can't believe I've lived this long without having your love," she whispered weakly.

"You've had it. I've always loved you," he said quietly, threading his fingers through my hair to rest his head against my heart, " I just didn't know your name."

"Edward.." I giggled a little "Edward that's the cheesiest thing you've ever said to me." one of his hands was playing with the buttons of my shirt.

"Well even my girlfriend makes fun of me now..." he muttered as he popped some of the buttons open. "Oh Bella..how will I go on?"

"No, no mister!" I said as I slapped the hand that was slowly reaching the last button. "You take your shirt off first, we know how it ended the last time."

"Bella..I'm not sure we should do this right now." he purred against my neck and then he slowly pulled away."I mean we..."

I interrupted him by pressing my lips against his and wrapping my arms around his neck, pressing every single inch of my body against his. He muttered something but I couldn't quite hear because I was too focused on removing that stupid shirt of his. I finally ripped it open and slide it off of his arms. When I was done I threw it to the side of my bed and I fell back to stare at him. He was beautiful, sitting there straddling me, the soft light of the moonlight shinning against his chest. It took my breath away. I licked my lips and waited for him to remove my shirt but he instead fell to my side and got up from the bed, and started searching for his shirt, I guess.

"Edward?" I popped myself in one elbow and stared at him. "What are you doing?"

"Bella...this isn't..." he muttered as his hand taunted the floor. "We shouldn't..." he whispered again "I mean..." he finally found his shirt and he put it on. "We are not doing this right now, Bella."

Ah.

I turned around and buried my face in the pillow. I felt an ache in my chest and suddenly the voice that had been tormenting me all day before our conversation.

_Are you sad because your boyfriend left you as soon as he found out the kind of cunt you are? Edward was always to good for you anyway._

I felt something grabbing my arm but I couldn't focus. Maybe now that he knew that each scar he had seen in my body wasn't from falling down or being clumsy, maybe now that he knew the truth he didn't want me anymore. I didn't deserve him. People kept telling me when I had arrived here that I was too good for him but I had always known better, he was too good for me. Too compassionate, too loving. He needed someone innocent, someone who wasn't as self-destructing as I was. He needed someone strong. I was needy and weak.

"Bella..." he turned me around gently. "No, no. Love please don't cry. I'm not rejecting you..." I looked up, I couldn't bare to see the look in his eyes. "Bella you have no idea, of how much I want you...I've wanted you for so long Bella.." he whispered. "I just want this to be special, for you..." more tears flowed down my face and he rubbed his thumb against my cheek, whiping the tears away. "Bella..stop crying, please."

"Edward..." I sobbed. "I thought you knew...that this will always be special, as long as it's with you..." I managed and he smiled sweetly. "It's just that..." I sighed and more tears fell from my eyes. "You don't have any reasons to want me..."

"Bella..." he chuckled and then he pressed his lips against mine as he threaded his fingers though my hair.

I didn't know what came over him but suddenly he pulled away and he looked me directly in the eyes before he started kissing my face. First my eyelids, my nose, my cheeks, my mouth briefly and then he moved down my neck, sucking in my pulse point, he sucked so hard I was sure he was intentionally leaving a mark. He continued kissing up and down my neck and his hand travelled up, reaching my shirt buttons and started unbuttoning. He pulled the sleeves down a little bit and he pressed kisses to my exposed skin of my shoulder while he continued to unbutton it.

"You are beautiful." he whispered against my skin, blewing his breath over the skin he had just licked. "There's nothing about you that is undesirable Bella..."

He continued unbuttoning my shirt and when he was done he pulled me up a little bit, sliding it off of my arms. He ran his fingers over my bra and he licked his lips before reaching behind me to unclasp it, after he had he pulled the straps down my arms and threw it aside. He licked his lips and I figured what he was going to do. Before he could connect his mouth with my breasts I placed my hand on his chest and flipped us over, removing his unbuttoned shirt in the process. But as soon as I straddled him his hands flew to my waits.

"Nu-uh." I muttered as I lowered my mouth to connect with one of his nipples. "No touching.." I whispered against his skin, he moaned silently.

I moved my mouth lower and licked over his stomach but before I could get any farther he grabbed my arms and pulled me up reconnecting our mouths in another passionate kiss. He flipped us over again and suddenly I could feel him everywhere...I was hyper aware of his hands roaming my body, his breathing all over my face, his lips moving hungrily, almost violently against mine. He bit my bottom lip and then he kissed my chin and slowly started moving his luscious lips down my neck. Suddenly the air was heavy with lust and desire and I felt like I was drowning, I couldn't breath. I felt his hands unbuttoning and pulling my jeans down my legs slowly and his mouth going down until he reached my navel and planted a kiss there.

He grabbed one of my legs and placed it carefully over his shoulders and after that he started kissing my inner tight slowly taking his time, leaving marks along it probably. I sighed and then he aburptly pulled away but continued carresing it with his very talented fingers. I moaned at the lost of contact with his mouth and he chuckled as he stared at me directly in the eyes. I was getting goose-bumps when he finally spoke.

"You are so fucking beautiful Bella. And your legs..." his voice was thick, it was creating a heat pool in my stomach. "That week when the heat-wave hit Forks and you went to school with those ridiculously short skirts..." he paused for a moment and closed his eyes "God I just wanted to grab you and..take you against a wall..." I could feel my arousal now "I want you so bad...I want to be in between your legs...inside of you.."

"Come and get me then.." I muttered, his eyes shot open.

"What was that?" he asked contently and he leaned closer to me, I took advantage of this and grabbed him by the arm, pulling him towards me.

"I said...come and get me..." I smirked and he looked slightly surprised.

"Fuck."

And he was on me. Everywhere...his mouth was pressed against my nipple and his other hand was rubbing my breasts. The heat between my legs was unbearable, I wanted...scratch that, I needed a release. I buried my nails on his back and when he flicked his tongue over my nipple I thought I'd come right there, right then. When he pulled away I took advantage and moved underneath his body until my hands reached his pants and I started unbuttoning his jeans. He moaned when I pulled his boxers and pants down all together and brushed my hand against his erection. He pulled me back roughly, I moaned.

"Bella..."

He hooked his fingers under my panties and pulled them down painfully slowly. The electricity that was floating around us was making me tense and I could feel it every time when his fingers brushed against my skin. He finally got rid of my soaked panties and climbed on top of me again, pressing his forehead against mine and he licked his lips tentatively. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer, collecting the sweat off of his neck with my tongue. He moaned.

"Bella we need..."

"I'm on the pill..." he looked at me quizzically "Rosalie's suggestion..." he smiled and then pressed his forehead against mine once again, his beautiful eyes burned into mine. The intensity of it was almost overwhelming to me. My breath was shaky and I needed to be closer to him.

"I'm sorry if..."

"It doesn't matter." I said as I caressed his back slowly.

"I lo..."

"Me too..."

And he was inside of me.

The sudden pain brought tears to my eyes and it almost felt like one of my limbs was being ripped. Like I was loosing something, it was my innocence that was being gently taking from me and still it felt like someone had cut my arm off. I stared at the ceiling and one single tear rolled down my cheek, my nails dug into his skin. He continued to stare at my face, I could see the worry on his eyes. The pain went away slowly and I lifted my hips and glued my eyes to his again. He moved slowly, gently. And then I felt it.

I needed him.

He fit in perfectly inside me, our bodies fitted like puzzle pieces but it was more than that. Something had changed, something was changing and we couldn't prevent it from happening. We hadn't been in control of this. His flesh slapped against mine and I moaned, throwing my head back in full ecstasy as he lowered his mouth to my neck and started sucking. I moaned even louder when he thrusted his tongue into my mouth harshly mimicking his movements. I moaned into his mouth and he thrusted into me, harder. But suddenly he slowed his pace.

"Bella..." he grunted. "Bella open your eyes...look at me Bella.." he demanded, I opened my eyes lazily my eyelids were heavy with desire "Tomorrow..."

"Tomorrow when we go to school..." he whispered "When someone says something about you...when they tell you anything about not being worthy.." he whispered hoarsely "I want you to remember this...I want you to..." he pressed his forehead into mine again. "I want you to remember the way I feel inside of you..." he muttered, how was he being so coherent? "I want you to remember the way I make love to you..."

"Nothing...ughh...feels as good as this..." I managed.

And then I felt it.

It felt like my dream but even more. Gravity was pulling me, ripping me apart and putting me together at the same time. All I could see was Edward's perfect face and I felt like my body was falling towards the earth but at the same time it felt like I was flying. Completely carefree, complete bliss. I felt whole, perfect. Like every scar in my body wasn't healed but erased. I was suddenly thankful for everything, for every mistake I had made, for every time I had failed to someone, for every descion, good or bad, that I had made. It had brought me here, to this feeling, to this moment. To him.

I crashed back into earth and I felt Edward collapse on top of me. His cheek pressed against my chest, one of my hands tangled in his messy hair. I sighed. It was perfect...I never wanted to wake up if this was my dream. But it wasn't...I knew it wasn't a dream. He removed himself from me at some point and pulled me into his arms. I wanted to complain because I missed his body pressed against mine but I was too tired and his arms felt too good.

I closed my eyes but my ears registered the sound of the front door being opened.

"BELLA! I SAW YOUR TRUCK! I KNOW YOU ARE HERE." I heard Rosalie shout and Edward's body shook with laughter beside me.

I was too tired to care. After all

Tomorrow would be a new day.


End file.
